***************************************************************

*****

-=- DARK MATCH -=-
Axel St. James vs. Robbie Ramone

*****

Robbie Ramone comes out to the ring petrified of his debuting opponent. As the match gets started, the sadistic Axel St. James begins to dominate. Half-way into the contest, Ramone is able to get a couple of kicks in, but is attempt at backlash is thwarted as St. James hits him with an outrageously hard fist, then hits him with a viscious DDT, or the "Funhouse Effect". St. James examines the near unconscious body of Ramone and adds insult to injury by locking in his highly effectual facelock, the hold he perfers to call "The Choking Game". Ramone taps out within seconds, as St. James looks very strong in his CZW debut.

*****

BOOM!! BOOM!! BOOM!!

The opening pyros go off, panning around the arena, catching sight of several signs held by fans, including:

“FEAR MORTIUS!”

“WATERS IS MY HERO!”

“BUZZ IS SAWING THROUGH THE COMPETITION!”

And “I’M THE MEAT IN A SPECTACLE SANDWICH!” held by the creepy fat guy who seems to make it to every show.

Daniels and Masters make their introductions and run down the card for tonight, transitioning us straight backstage.

*****

We are backstage at Acer arena. The new Television champion Krimzon Blaze walks through the backstage area, his newly won title sitting proudly on his shoulder. A few crew members walk up to him.

Crew 1: Hey...good job at Hatewave Blaze!

Crew 2: Yeah man...that was a great win!

Blaze: Thanks guys....it really means a lot to me!

Crew 3: Yeah...now hopefully you can hold it longer than a week!

Blaze: Haha...always a joker, aren’t you...I’d happily take on any man who is willing to step up and challenge me for this title...and I don’t plan on losing...

Crew 1: Who do you reckon will challenge first?

Blaze: Well...in reality...people have to earn title shots first. So really...no one can just walk in and make a challenge...

Someone clears their throat behind Blaze. He turns around and finds himself face to face with Shawn Waters.

Waters: Oh really? No one can walk in and make a challenge?

Shawn holds up the Money in the Bank briefcase.

Waters: I’m hurt KB...I thought for sure I’d be the first person to spring to mind!

Shawn smirks as he and KB share a manly, not at all gay, hug.

Blaze: Haha...congrats on the win Shawn...

Waters: You too KB...

Blaze: But seriously Shawn...you can’t be thinking of cashing in on the Television title can you? This is your chance for the main event!

Waters: Maybe I don’t want the main event...maybe I’d just be content with the title I took into the mainstream...who knows...

Blaze shrugs.

Blaze: Alright...it’ll be your choice...but be warned Shawn...I’m going to bring the pride back to this title...I don’t plan on losing it...if you cash in on me...you’ll be in for the fight of your life...

Waters: I wouldn’t expect anything less from you KB...

Shawn turns to walk away, but turns back.

Waters: One last thing...if I decide to try and win the tag team titles...I’m going to need a tag team partner...

Shawn winks before walking away. Blaze nods before continuing to his locker room.

*****

(Behind a random door sitting backstage a table is set up where Rosman Ballard and his good friend The DM are sitting. Many books are sitting around. The camera zooms in to see they are official Dungeons And Dragons books. It is pretty clear that they are having a session of D&D going on right now.)

DM: Why hello my good man what can I do for you.

Ballard: I was wondering if you can forge a weapon for me.

(Suddenly, the door opens and “Father Hardcore” Weed Wackin’ Waylon Krew walks in. He halts his feet abruptly, his eyes widened. Remaining perfectly still, he gawks at the two with a confused look.)

Krew: What……in THE HELL……..are…you doin?

(The two of them look at Krew raising and eyebrow.)

Ballard: Hey look DM it's Waylon Krew! Remember that crazy guy with the hundreds of weapons we saw at that Pay Per View?

(The DM wipes his thick black framed glasses before looking at Krew.)

DM: Well I'll be damned it is! Come on in buddy! We're playing a friendly game of Dungeons And Dragons!

(Krew looks at Rosman, then at DM. Then back at Rosman. And repeats the pattern at least ten times.)

Krew: Dungeons…and…uh…WHAT?

Ballard: Dungeons And Dragons! Come on sit down man. We can teach you. It's like playing a video game except without the system, the game, or the TV. All you need is your imagination!

DM: You'd be a natural. You seem like a creative person.

(Krew looks at him with one eyebrow angled up. He looks at Rosman, whose face is cheery and encouraging. He looks back at DM, and then the game board. He then grabs a chair and pulls it over, gingerly taking a seat.)

DM: Excellent! We got a new player! Now first you need a character.

Ballard: You have wide varities of races and classes to choose from. Like right now I am a Goliath Barbarian! I am 7'8 and 345 lbs of stone skin!

(Krew looks at Rosman with a cynical face. He does the same to DM, and then to the game board.)

Krew: Maybe I can be Brett Favre…..minus twenty years!

(Krew begins to cackle at his own joke, and Rosman and DM stare at him in confusion. Krew notices this and slowly begins to stop laughing.)

Krew: You guys don’t know who that is, do you?

DM: I'm not familiar with the lore of him... He can't be better than Sir Arthur himself though.

Ballard: Pfft... Atilla The Hun would kick his ass...

DM: Shut up!

(Krew rolls his eyes and mutters something under his breath. He takes a blank character sheet, a pencil, and sits there brushing his facial hair in thought. He puts the pencil to the paper and begins to write. After a couple of quickly-paced minutes, he grins at his creation. He holds the paper up high and begins to read the character info out loud to the two other men at the table.)

Krew: Alright. My guy is an Irish-born dwarf, standing 4’5’’ and weighing in at 129 pounds. He’s a trickster and likes to come out of nowhere and attack you, usually with a shillelagh or a water gun.

(He looks at the two men, who are both staring back at him in mass puzzlement.)

Ballard: What?!

DM: The shillelagh I can understand... But a water gun?!

(Krew looks at the two like THEY’RE the crazy ones.)

Krew: You ever tried to fight and kill with a midget squirting liquids in your eyes? It can be very strenuous! Besides, this guy could own any veteran any day of the week!

Ballard: Hey now I don't sneeze on the little people. They are at eye level with your manhood. Arm them with a blade and you can find yourself getting a free neuter job...

DM: Uhhhh Krew this is medievil times... I don't think they had water guns back then...

(He snatches the sheet from DM’s hands and begins to erase. He then writes some more things down, taking up another couple of minutes, then sets down his pencil, his grin even wider.)

Krew: Okay, this will be the greatest character in the HISTORY of Dunces & Wagons!

DM: Uh, it’s Dungeons and….

Krew: Whateva! This is amazing. Are you ready? I hope you are. Rosman don’t stand up because you’ll just have to sit back down. Well, you know what, maybe you should stand up so you get the effect and will have to sit down in amazement. Actually, no on second thought just stay sitting, you’ll give me vertigo if you move that fast.

(Krew limbers up as if he’s about to wrestle a match and begins to read out his character sheet.)

Krew: My guy stands 1, 250 feet tall, he weighs around 370,000 tons! And get this – he’s made ENTIRELY out of glass, stone, chamfered, and steel mullion!

Ballard: WHAT?!

DM: Uhhhh what book did you get this from?!

(The DM starts opening books looking through them all.)

Ballard: Ugh I need a Mountain Dew.

(Ballard holds his head in disgust as he cracks open another Mountain Dew. Krew looks at him chug the can of Mountain Dew.)

Krew: Hey, you do know that stuff kills your sperm ce….

(Ballard looks at him before he can finish, and Krew silences himself after examining Rosman one more time.)

Krew: Yeah, never mind, you probably won’t be needing them.

DM: Krew that character is bigger than the map!

Krew: So?

Ballard: You'd step on the damn city and kill the game!

(Krew grins)

Krew: SO I WON!

Ballard: What?! You don't even have a legit character written up!

DM: I'm still trying to find what book he found this race from...

(The DM has his face buried in a book paging through it.)

Krew: My character is so big that if he sits down, everyone dies. So there, I won!

Ballard: NO NO NO NO NO!!!! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!!! DM!!!

DM: Closest thing I can see is a giant stone golem...

Ballard: I PUT 3 YEARS INTO THIS CHARACTER! I have slain 3 Earth Giants, 1 Fire giant, 7 Troll Giants, A Colossal sized soul eating demon, 5 Minotaur giants...

(Krew confidently grins and crosses his arms.)

Krew: But ya never slayed the Empire State Building, did ya?

DM: The what?!

Ballard: Oh for the love of...

(Ballard facedesks the table disgusted.)

Krew: Man, I’m good at this game!

DM: Wait if you're a building technically you can't move...

Ballard: HE CAN'T BE A BUILDING! IT'S NOT A LEGIT RACE DM!!!

DM: Oh quit nerd raging...

(Krew frowns at DM, but then snaps his fingers, his eyebrows angled up.)

Krew: He’s a transformer!

(Krew frowns at DM, but then snaps his fingers, his eyebrows angled up.)

Krew: He’s a transformer!

DM: Uhhh I think you're getting games mixed up Krew...

Ballard: That makes absolutely no sense at all whatsoever! You can't be a Transformer in the first place! In order to be a Transformer it has to be an electronic device! Not a building!

(Krew frowns at Ballard, getting a bit picky.)

Krew: YOU’RE an electronic device!

DM: Technically that Weed Whacker could be a transformer...

(Ballard slaps his forehead.)

Ballard: Why would you even say something like that?!

Krew: Then it’s official. I am a weed whacker building transformer…who is 1,250 feet tall and weighs 370,000 tons.

(Ballard throws his arms up frustrated.)

DM: Wow I gotta give you props on creativity Krew...

Ballard: That's not even a legit race! Let alone does it not make sense!

(Krew shoots Ballard with a confident look.)

Krew: Hey, you made an eight foot stone monster; I don’t see why I can’t be a weed whacker who transforms into a building.

Ballard: It's called a Goliath. They are mountain dwelling nomads with stone like skin.

Krew: I don’t even know what the fuck a nomad is.

DM: So what class are you going to be Krew?

Ballard: What?! How are you going to ask him what class he is when he doesn't even have a legit race!?

(Krew quickly gives Ballard a frustrated look, and then looks down at his character sheet, thinking about it.)

Krew: Hmm…how about Chuck Norris. NOW, I win!

DM: Yeah game over nothing can beat that.

(Ballard looks from Krew to the DM and sighs.)

Ballard: I'm going to the vending machine... I need to get some Doritos.

(Krew grins from ear to ear and yells at the departing Ballard.)

Krew: Don’t get any cheese on your stone gonad!

(Ballard crushes his can as he leaves the scene.)

DM: Duck Krew...

(An empty Mountain Dew can sails past Krew's head. Krew looks back at the angry Ballard as he ventures to the vending machine.)

Krew: You know, as much as I love slowly losing my testosterone, but I have to go get ready for my match with Sledge. So, have fun playing Surgeons & Polygons, or whatever.

(Krew rushes out the door, as fast as he can. The scene turns back to Jared and William.)

*****

-=- OPENING HARDCORE MATCH! -=-
"Father Hardcore" Waylon Krew vs. Sledge

*****

Daniels: We are pleased to be joined in the broadcast booth by someone who is no stranger to the world of hardcore wrestling. He made a name for himself fighting in some of the most brutal matches in the 90’s and is now one of the top road agents in the business, so without any further ado please welcome Sid Simelia!!!!

Sid Simelia: Thank you very much for having me out here for this match boys.

Masters: Trust me it wasn’t my idea, I guess you can thank your new buddy for pulling some strings for you to get you this gig.

Sid Simelia: Oh Willie come on now, you know the men in charge wanted someone who knows what they are talking about out here doing play by play, and who knows more about hardcore wrestling then me…

-Sid, who is in a cut off t-shirt grabs Masters in a head lock and ruffles up his hair a bit.-

Masters: DEAR GOD YOU BLOODY SINK TO HIGH HEAVEN!! WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SHOWERED?

Sid Simelia: Oh shit, might have forgot the right guard this morning, can’t be that bad, I don’t smell it.

Daniels: Lets head up to the ring for out opening match of the night, Jessica Towers take it away!!!!!!

*DING DING DING*

Jessica Towers: WELCOME TO OVERDRIVE!!!!! WE ARE LIVE FROM SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA!!!!!!!!

The fans inside the Acer Arena goes nuts as the camera pans around to show the wild and crazy Aussie wrestling fans.

Jessica Towers: Our opening contest is schedule for one fall and is a HARDCORE MATCH!!!!! Introducing first making his CZW debut…..from Akron, Ohio….weighing in tonight at 290LBS…….PLEASE WECOME TO THE CZW…SLEDGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

‘Albatross’ by Corrosion of Conformity plays over the speakers as Sledge walks out onto the stage as these Aussie fans go nuts. He raises the metal chair he’s carrying into the air which draws a even loud cheer from the fans.

Masters: Listen to these morons! And dear god look at this guy, where and the hell are we finding these train wrecks?

Sid Simelia: Sledge is a former World Champion and a very decorated champion.

Masters: He looks like a damn circus freak!

Daniels: Sid, what is going through his mind right now as he makes his debut here tonight in a new company?

Sid Simelia: Listen Sledge has been around the block, once the bell rings it doesn’t matter to him wither it’s his first night in a company or his 100th match in that company.

Masters: That’s code for he doesn’t have enough brain cells left to formulate a thought.

Jessica Towers: And his opponent……from Washington D.C…….weighing in tonight at a ripped 252LBS…..HE IS ‘WEED WACKING’ WAYLONE KREW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

‘Fuck The System’ by System of a Down blares over the PA system as Waylon walks out onto stage and pulls the rip cord and fires up the weed whacker, the fans go nuts as Waylon raises the weed whacker over his head and storms to the ring.

Daniels: David Christopherson is trying to tell Waylon to leave the weed whacker outside the ring but he ignores him and climbs into the ring.

Sid Simelia: Well this is a hardcore match right?

Masters: Yes but it doesn’t mean you can try to kill the other chap.

Sid Simelia: Well maybe in your fruity mind, but to us hardcore guys it means game on!

Daniels: And Sledge is yelling for Waylon to bring it on, he pushes David Christopherson aside and yells for him to ring the bell as he pounds the mat with his folded chair, David shrugs his shoulder and motions for the bell…..

*DING DING DING*

Sid Simelia: These two crazy son of a bitches are going to tear each other apart, I LOVE IT!!!!

Daniels: Sledge and Waylon circle each other each waiting for the other to make the first move….

Masters: Are you kidding me? What’s next is one of these freaks going to bring in a sword and try to stab someone?

Sid Simelia: That’s not a bad idea Willie, I’ll have to pass that idea along to Buzzsaw.

Daniels: Sledge faints and Waylon commits, Sledge blocks with the chair and the trimmer meets steel!!!!

Sid Simelia: Waylon sees and opening and shifts….

Daniels: AND THE TRIMMER CATCHES SLEDGE IN THE HAND AND THE BLOOD SPLATTERS ACROSS THE RING!!!!

Masters: HE LOST A FINGURE OH BLOODY HELL

Sid Simelia: Calm down he didn’t lose a finger, it’s merely a fresh wound.

Daniels: Sledge releases his left hand and takes a look to make sure all the digits are still there and Waylon spins around and drills Sledge in the face with the butt of the weed whacker.

Sid Simelia: Now that might have cost him a few teeth.

Masters: Did we get a full count of how many he had before the match started, I mean come on look at that grille.

Sid Simelia: Really chap, you are going to talk about someone else’s teeth, good call there Austin Powers.

Masters: What the hell do you mean by that?

Sid Simelia: I mean I’ve seen better looking teeth on a Pit Bull.

Daniels: Waylon spins around and goes after Sledge and OH DEAR LORD THOSE TRIMMERS MEET SLEDGE’S CHEST!!!!!

Sid Simelia: Sledge’s t-shirt is ripped to shreds and his chest is ripped open.

Masters: Shame, I heard that was Sledge’s nicest shirt he owned.

Daniels: Sledge rolls out of the rings and is looking at his chest and trying to wipe away the blood and collect himself.

Sid Simelia: Welcome to the CZW Sledge, he now has his first set of scars courtesy of Waylon Krew.

Masters: Trust me he won’t even notice.

Daniels: Waylon trying to get out of the ring and is having some trouble getting that weed whacker out of the ring and Sledge sees an opening, reaches over the guard rail and shoves a fan off his chair and lifts it over the rail and nails Waylon Krew in the back forcing him to drop his weed whacker.

Sid Simelia: Well that is one way to stop that assault.

Masters: Why couldn’t this be the Damage Control Match, I mean would anyone miss either of these guys?

Daniels: Sledge hands the chair back to the fan and is telling him to hold it up…

Sid Simelia: See this is what you get kids when you come to a CZW show, time for fan interaction.

Daniels: Sledge pulls Waylon Krew up and drags him over to the guard rail, but Waylon blocks it, Sledge drills a knee lift into the mid section of Krew and slams his face into that chair and send the fan flying back into the second row.

Masters: Great, here comes another law suit, that kid is bound to sue us now.

Sid Simelia: Calm down Willie, that kid will be able to tell everyone he was part of a CZW show.

Daniels: Sledge lifts Waylon and drives him down on the concrete floor with a standing spine buster!!!

Sid Simelia: Waylon is going to feel that in the morning, and look Sledge is wasting little time, he grabs a chair, what the hell is he doing?

Daniels: He puts that chair on the head of Waylon Krew and now is asking for a fan to give up there chair.

Masters: There goes a fan, he hands Sledge his chair and high fives his friend, your parent’s must be so proud.

Sid Simelia: SLEDGE SLAMS THE CHAIR DOWN ONTO THE CHAIR OVER WAYLON’S FACE!!!!!! Daniels: Blood splatters everywhere as Waylon frees himself and oh dear god, his nose has to be broken, the blood is flowing like water.

Masters: And look at Sledge, he’s just standing there smiling.

Sid Simelia: Well his chest has been sliced opened and now Waylon’s nose is rearranged, sounds like this match has officially started.

Masters: Morons, we have hired morons!!!

Daniels: Waylon wipes his face and sees the blood and charges at Sledge who is caught off guard and Waylon clotheslines Sledge over the guard rail and both men take out the first row of fans.

Masters: What the hell is David Christopherson doing, he’s just standing in the middle of the ring, count these two jackasses out.

Sid Simelia: This is a Hardcore Match Willie, there are no count outs.

Masters: It’s William, not Willie!!!

Sid Simelia: Don’t get your panties all bunched up Willie.

Daniels: The fans and both these men are trying to get to there feet, there is nothing but carnage in the first row. Waylon is gets to his feet first and pulls Sledge to his feet by his hair, Sledge swings but Waylon blocks it and staggers him with a head butt. Sledge stumbles back and Waylon runs in with a big boot to the face that sends Sledge crashing into a family.

Masters: Ok come on now, somebody is going to get hurt out there, get these two moron’s back in the ring.

Sid Simelia: Welcome to the land of hardcore!!!

Daniels: Waylon stalks over towards Sledge who is mixed in with that family of four but it’s the mom who gets up first and what the hell?

Sid Simelia: She’s trying to get Waylon to pose for a picture, hahahaha!

Masters: World class mother right there, her husband and kids are on the floor and she pulls out her phone to get a picture.

Daniels: Well Waylon gives her what she wants and smiles, and then pulls Sledge up by the hair and looks back at the lady, WALYON GRABS THE WOMEN AND RAMS SLEDGE’S FACE INTO HER WELL ENDOWED CHEST!!!!!!!

Fans: CZW!!!!!CZW!!!!!CZW!!!!! Masters: Ok I have officially seen it all.

Sid Simelia: He’s rubbing Sledge’s face in that woman’s big tits!!!! Outstanding!!!!!

Daniels: Waylon pulls Sledge’s face back and look….he’s smiling!!!!!

Sid Simelia: Of course he is.

Daniels: Now Waylon saying it’s his turn and OH GOD SLEDGE RAMS WAYLON’S FACE INTO THAT WOMEN’S BOOBS!!!!!

Sid Simelia: THOSE MOTOR BOATING MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!! HOLD ON BOYS I WANT NEXT!!!!!!

Masters: Look at that women’s husband, he’s pissed and rightfully so.

Sid Simelia: He might be but what’s he going to do about it, just shield your kids eyes fellow, god only knows where their faces might go next!!!!

Masters: SID!!!!

Daniels: Sledge pulls Waylon’s face back and the two high five and are laughing and well the lady doesn’t seem to mind as she gives them both a hug.

Sid Simelia: She so wants to be the meat in the Sledge/Waylon sandwich.

Masters: I think I’m going to throw up….yes I am going to throw up!!!!!

Daniels: She lets go of both men and SLEDGE WITH A SUPERKICK THAT SENDS WAYLON FLYING BACKWARDS BACK OVER THE GUARD RAIL AND ONTO THE FLOOR OUTSIDE THE RING!!!!!

Sid Simelia: Motor boating over, time to get back to work, right guys?

Masters: I can’t believe they violated her right in front of her family.

Daniels: Sledge hops the rail and starts tossing chairs into the ring, one, two, three, four, five chairs go flying into the ring.

Sid Simelia: Time for this thing to really get violent.

Masters: Yes because god forbid they learn something simple like a drop toe hold.

Daniels: Sledge walks over and rolls Waylon back into the ring, and now he’s sliding under the ropes and both men are back in the ring.

Masters: What a novel concept to these guys.

Sid Simelia: We have more fun outside the ring Willie.

Daniels: Sledge pulls Waylon over towards the ropes and hopes up to the second rope….

Masters: What the hell is he thinking?

Sid Simelia: You wanted him to try a wrestling move.

Daniels: Sledge jumps off and goes for a frog splash but Waylon rolls out of the way and Sledge comes up empty!!!

Masters: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Sid Simelia: You better hope he doesn’t watch the replay of this Willie.

Daniels: Waylon is up and rips Sledge to his feet, he sends him crashing into the corner and comes running in with a huge clothesline.

Sid Simelia: Waylon is getting it going, no more Mr. Nice Guy.

Daniels: Waylon rips away what’s left of Sledge’s t-shirt and a huge back hand chop across that shredded chest.

Fans: WOOOOO!!!!!!!

Daniels: Waylon pushed Sledge back again and….

Fans: WOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Sid Simelia: Those chops can’t feel good on a sliced up chest.

Masters: Thank you, great analyst.

Daniels: Sledge fires an elbow to the face of Waylon Krew who staggers backwards. Sledge fires off another elbow and it clears some space between the two wrestlers, Sledge reaches down and grabs one of those chairs….

Sid Simelia: This is going to end badly for Waylon….

Masters: Sledge is going to take his head off, what is he waiting for?

Daniels: He’s motioning for Waylon to grab a chair....

Sid Simelia: Waylon nods and grabs a chair.

Masters: Moron, he had the advantage….

Daniels: Sledge is telling him to take the first shot and….HOLY CRAP!!!! Waylon with a sick chair shot to the head….

Sid Simelia: But Sledge is still on his feet….

Masters: It’s because he has no brain cells left.

Daniels: Sledge shakes it off and OH DEAR GOD, HE DRILLS WAYLON IN THE HEAD!!!!

Sid Simelia: But Waylon stays on his feet.

Masters: Neither of these men should breed, the world will be a better place with the blood line ends with them.

Daniels: Waylon pulls back the chair and CRACK RIGHT ACROSS SLEDGE’S HEAD!!!!!

Sid Simelia: Sledge staggers a bit but holds his ground.

Daniels: Sledge bounces off the ropes and HUGE CHAIR SHOT TO THE FACE OF WAYLON KREW!!!!!!

Sid Simelia: That might have done it, Waylon’s eyes rolled back and he’s staggered….

Daniels: SLEDGE WITH ANOTHER SHOT TO THE FACE AND WAYLON AND ANOTHER ONE!!!! WAYLON BOUNCES OFF THE ROPES AND SHAKES HIS HEAD TRYING TO CLEAR THE COB WEBBS, SLEDGE CHARGES IN AND WAYLON KICKS HIM RIGHT IN THE GROIN!!!!!!!!

Sid Simelia: Those chair shots couldn’t stop him but a shot to the nuts will.

Masters: Maybe that lowered his sperm count.

Daniels: Waylon brings back the chair and SMASHES IT ACROSS SLEDGE’S FACE FOR GOOD MEASURE, HE DROPS THE CHAIR AND LIFTS SLEDGE UP….KREW SPILLER RIGHT ON THAT CHAIR!!!!!!!!

Sid Simelia: I don’t like the kick to the nuts but it was affective.

Daniels: Waylon covers…….

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1

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2

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.3!!!!!!!!!!!!

Daniels: And that will do it for this one.

Jessica Towers: THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH….. ‘WEED WACKING’ WAYLONE KREW!!!!!!!!!!!!

Daniels: Sledge was impressive in his debut here in the CZW.

Sid Simelia: He lived up as advertized but Waylon was just a bit more creative tonight, the CZW Ultraviolent Division is pack full of quality guys right now.

Masters: Packed full of morons in my book.

Sid Simelia: Well it’s a good thing your book doesn’t count.

Daniels: Waylon rolls out of the ring and backpedals up the ramp and look at this….

Sid Simelia: Sledge rolls over and is smiling at Waylon Krew, he’s just smiling!!!!

Masters: These two are bloody sick bastards.

*****

Ryan Lewis: I'm here with “The Paragon,” Alex Slate. Now, Alex-

Slate: Alexander.

Lewis: Excuse me?

Slate: My name is Alexander.

Lewis: Very well then. I understand you wish to talk about what happened at-

Slate: Hatewave. Of course I do. No one intelligent or decent can say that Hatewave III was not an excellent program, one of the finest events this great sport has ever seen. I'll admit that. But I still believe that Hatewave contained one major, grievous flaw within its brillance. You see, the true opening match for Hatewave was not what most viewers saw, some ludicrous theatrical reimagining of King Kong vs. The Wolfman. No. It was, in fact, a true test of mettle and glory, a battle royal pitting together eight of the finest combatants this league has to offer and Yoshi Naniwa. A match I won, all the more pitiful so few got to see it. And in that match, I won a to-be-determined title shot. Certainly a fitting prize, wouldn't you say?

Lewis: I'd say-

Slate: It's a rhetorical question, Ryan. Now then, while I unfortunately have no official say in whom I have the pleasure of facing, I asked for this interview to grant some unofficial guidance. Now then. Mortius, Mike King... I see nothing wrong with their reigns. I may not agree with every word that exits their mouths, but I see inklings of respect in where they've come from and what they've done, and I don't wish to ruin that. Not just yet. That then brings me to the first of the three other titles in CZW: The X-Division title, and its champion, The Paul.

Lewis: You mean El Pablo?

Slate: I speak English, Ryan, and as The Paul hails from an English-speaking country, he should as well. The Paul is emblematic of many of the flaws in this industry. He is a man who has been everywhere and done everything save put someone in a hold worth a damn. He is the distillation of superfluous flash; style over substance, and while I'll admit he can rouse the crowd and ride that to victory, why rely on such a fickle, mindless catalyst to spike your adrenaline? Not only would I gladly defeat The Paul in an empty stadium, I'd have a much easier time of it.

Second is the Television champion, Krimzon Blaze. Now, while he is very clearly a protege of The Paul, they are not identical. Mr. Blaze does possess quite a bit of flash, but what sickens me about him is his futile attempt at a varied repertoire. Every move of his is the same: climb somewhere high, do something asinine in mid-air, and land on top of the opponent. How he managed to get an opponent prone in the first place is left as an exercise to the viewer. And by the way, Krimzon, the next time you go home, would you please tell the shit-smeared pile of pavement you call Detroit to stop making the rest of Michigan look bad? Some of us would like to have pride in our birthplace.

Finally, the Ultraviolent champion, Buzzsaw. I'll be blunt: the man scares me. This is someone who has no respect whatsoever for his own well-being, much less the well-being of anyone else. While I believe I could defeat him in a simple, one fall to a finish match, that's not at all what the Ultraviolent division is about. Weaponry is one thing- the ever-present kendo stick is a martial art- but that division crosses from battle to barbarism. Consider the scaffold match at Hatewave, a match which I guarantee severed years, plural, off of Buzzsaw's career. His body will never be the same again. And he won the match! I want none of that, not out of cowardice, but self-preservation. Unlike Buzzsaw, I value my career.

So those are my suggestions, and one other thing. Many wrestlers backstage have been unnerved by Damage Control. But not me. Anyone who is content to steep in mediocrity, who lacks the confidence to ideally pursue perfection... well, they should've been culled a long time ago.

*****

The camera cuts backstage where Ryan Lewis is standing by.

Lewis: It’s Ryan Lewis here in Sydney, Australia! My guest at this time is the newest member of Youthful Aggression and full owner of the Beautiful Agony name, Jacob Havok!

Havok walks into the shot, Lauren Caramazzi by his side holding his hand.

Lewis: So, Jacob...you finally destroyed Beautiful Agony at Hatewave...all those months of planning have finally succeeded...how do you feel?

Havok: Fantastic...the name had been tarnished beyond repair many months ago...it’s about time the name was allowed to die...like it should have done after my accident! Mike learnt...that you cannot have Beautiful Agony without Jacob Havok...that name will forever be synonymous with the Emo Prince...the Straight Edge Enigma...Jacob Havok!

Lewis: So now that your feud with Monroe is over...what plans do you have...

Havok: Whoa...hold up...who said my feud with Monroe is over? I didn’t just want to beat him...I wanted to destroy him...I want to drive him out of the CZW forever! This feud will not be over till one of us is gone! I may have broken up his precious stable...but I haven’t broken him yet...that’s my next goal...

Lewis: Well...one comment I want to make...is that you looked like a new person at Hatewave...

Havok: That’s because I am...I’ve realised that there are much more important things in life than what has happened in the past...I let go of my past last week...and I’m not looking back...this is only the start of my rise...no longer will I hide in the darkness and write depressing poems...The Emo Prince died the same day Beautiful Agony did...life is too good to worry about small things...I’ve got Lauren...I’ve got the name...I’ve got a stable full of allies...and I’ve got the ability to reach the top! Once Monroe is gone...who knows what’s going to come my way...we’ll just have to see won’t we?

Havok smiles and walks off the scene. Lauren, who is wearing a pretty summery dress, pecks Ryan Lewis on the cheek before running after Havok. Lewis goes bright red.

Lewis: I...uh...uh...this is Ryan Lewis...and uh...back to you guys...

The camera feed cuts as Lewis tries to hide his embarrassment.

*****

-=- TWO CZW ORIGINALS GOING HEAD TO HEAD! -=-
"The Living Legend" Big Nasty vs. "High Definition" Cage Stryker

*****

Daniels: The Living Legend and High Definition. Both men involved in the gruelling Money in the Bank Ladder Match and now both men going one on one here in Australia.

Masters: I thought for sure Big Nasty was going to walk away with it but instead it was our lame former colleague Shawn Waters who walked away with the contract. Big Nast time to get some revenge.

Daniels: I think Stryker is going to be looking to get some revenge of his own and try and get back in the World Heavyweight Title Picture.

Masters: Too Bad Nasty is going to be the Next World Champion. I wish this was a Damage Control match then Stryker could get fired.

Daniels: Or Nasty could get fired.

Masters: YOU DON’T TALK THAT WAY TO A LEGEND!

Daniels: Let’s throw it to Jessica for the Introductions.

Battery by Metallica starts to play as the fans split with there reaction. Then Big Nasty is on the stage as he starts walking to the ring as some people boo but the die hards they chant his name.

Jessica: Making his way to the ring. He is 6’11 and weighs in at 295 lbs. The Living Legends…… BIG NASTY!

Big Nasty then climbs into the ring over the top rope as he stands in the ring and The Pretender by Foo Fighters begin to play as the whole building erupts into cheers. Cage Stryker with the lovely Sirena Starr is now on stage as they both start walking down to the ring both giving high fives on there way down .

Jessica: His opponent, being accompanied to the ring by Sirena Starr he hails from Hollywood California. He is High Definition Cage Stryker. Cage slides under the bottom rope as Sirena stays on the outside of the ring. Cage throws his hands over his head as the crowd cheers.

Daniels: The referee signals for the bell and this match is under way taking place between two people many would call LEGENDS in CZW.

Masters: However only one of them can wear that name with pride and that is Big Nasty.

Daniels: Well Stryker is the first on the offensive. He is throwing forearms to the head of Big Nasty he has the big guy reeling a bit it seems. Nasty pushes Cage off of him but Cage right back to the offensive throwing more forearms. Nasty pushes him off again but Cage this time runs and bounces off the ropes. Nasty goes for a big boot but Cage ducks. Cage then jumps springboards off the second rope and hit’s a back elbow.

Masters: Cage using his agility as Nasty stumbles backwards. Now look Cage on the top rope as Nasty who has not fallen to his feet starts walking towards him as Cage dives and hit’s a Spear off the top rope. Some high impact manoeuvres from Cage to start this match off as he goes for the cover 1.…. Nasty gets the shoulder up quickly.

Daniels: Nasty didn’t just get the shoulder up. He showed off that strength and basically threw Cage off of him. Cage quick though to keep the big man off his feet as when Nasty sat up Cage bounced off the ropes and nailed Nasty with a boot right to the face. He is now apparently going for a Boston Crab. He is turning over the Living Legend!

Masters: He has it cinched in but not for long as Nasty using the leg strength makes Cage flip through the air and breaks the hold. Cage is first to his feet though as he starts throwing forearms and kicks to Nasty who is on one knee. Nasty is back to his feet as Cage goes for a Superkick and connects but Nasty is still on his feet.

Daniels: He is seemingly out on his feet as Cage once again is heading for the top rope. Cage looks around as the fans are screaming going nuts for High Definition. He takes off going for a Cross Body but Nasty catches him. Nasty then throws him up and catches him he could be going for the Nasty Bomb but Cage starts punching the head of Nasty Frantically. He then flips over and tries to hit a sunset flip but Nasty grabs Cage by the throat and pulls him up to his feet. Nasty lifts Cage up for a Chokeslam but Cage gets out of it. Nasty then turns around as Cage goes for another Superkick and Nasty catches his foot. He spins Cage around and NAILS CAGE With a BIG BOOT!

Masters: If you notice a kid in the front row just caught Cage Stryker’s Incisor what a freaking kick.

Daniels: Nasty not going for the cover is this a mistake?

Masters: The only mistake out here is sitting right beside me.

Daniels: Looking in a mirror Masters?

Masters: Cage has just kicked out from a two count and now Nasty is on the offensive. He starts putting the boots to Cage and is now working on Cage’s back. Cage is trying to grab the ropes and Nasty is using the bottom rope to hit a camel clutch like move on Cage as the referee starts counting.

Daniels: You can hear Nasty yell Count all you want NO Disqualification and he’s absolutely right however he does break the hold and pulls Cage away from the ropes. He then picks cage up and throws him into the ropes. Cage bounces off and lifts Cage up and hit’s a backbreaker. Nasty then lifts Cage up and drops him over that massive knee again hitting another back breaker. Nasty still hasn’t let go as he lifts Cage up again and hit’s a sidewalk slam. He then goes for the cover not hooking the leg and he only gets a two count.

Masters: I don’t think Nasty is done causing pain yet or else he would’ve ended this match.

Daniels: If he doesn’t end this match soon he could lose never count out Cage he is a former World Heavyweight Champion.

Masters: Look at this Nasty is being nice. He’s getting in the corner and waiting for Cage to get up. Nasty is now running full head of steam and hit’s a MASSIVE Spear.

Daniels: I think he broke Cage in half that was the biggest Spear I’ve ever seen.

Masters: your boyfriend is going to be really upset you said that Daniels. Nasty still not done. He is going for it and YES, he locks in a Sharpshooter and Cage is in the middle of the ring no where to go. Cage is screaming in pain it’s only a matter of time before he taps.

Daniels: Cage is doing everything he can to get to that bottom rope. He is feeding off the energy of the crowd as he is almost there. He’s about half an inch away and…. HE MADE IT!

Masters: He made it but at what cost. His back has to be so badly damaged right now. Nasty knows this and look at the big man he knows Cage can’t do anything now. He is waiting for Cage to get up. He walks over and helps him up he’s tired of waiting.

Daniels: Things do not look good for Cage as Nasty sends him to the ropes. Cage bounces off and ducks a close line from Nasty he’s not dead yet folks. Cage bounces off and hit’s a front dropkicks stumbling the big man a bit. Now it’s Nasty who bounces off the ropes. Nasty goes for a running close line and Cage ducks. Nasty comes back on the rebound and Cage goes for a Samoan Drop but he can’t keep Nasty up the pain is too much for him. Nasty spins Cage around and lifts him up and hit’s a big Spine Buster.

Masters: The condition Cage’s back is in he might just have done that. Busted his spine as he picks Cage up again and throws him into the corner. Nasty then starts running and hit’s a big splash to Cage in the corner. Cage now groggily stumbles out of the corner and Nasty lifts him up and gets Cage in a Bear Hug and that can not be good for the already injured back of Cage. Nasty is a beast!

Daniels: Look at that as Nasty is squeezing the life out of Cage Stryker right now. Cage doesn’t even show any signs of life right now as when Nasty moves Cage simply flails like a rag doll. The referee checks Cage he lifts up his arm and it just drops. He checks it again and it’s the same result.

Masters: It’s done Cage is dead.

Daniels: No! Cage’s arm doesn’t drop the third time as Cage is starting to show some life as a Cage chant is breaking out in the Acer Arena. Cage is now throwing rights and lefts and continuing until Nasty drops him. Cage remains on his feet as he hit’s a nice standing dropkick dropping Nasty to one knee. Cage bounces off the ropes and hit’s a close line but Nasty doesn’t fall. Cage is going to the top now as Nasty is one his feet. Cage takes flight and hit’s a Missile Dropkick.

Masters: Nasty is off his feet but the impact of the landing hurt Cage’s back he’s taking way to long to take advantage. He crawls over and drapes his arm over Nasty and the referee counts 1.……2.….Nasty gets the shoulder up. Cage is now slapping the mat as these idiot fans are slapping along with him.

Daniels: Now look, Cage is on his feet and he seemingly has his second wind. Feeding off the energy of the fans as Nasty is back up to one knee. Cage starts throwing rights and lefts and kicks as Nasty is trying to and eventually succeeds to getting to his feet. Cage though with a quick kick to the and drops Nasty with a DDT. Nasty is now crawling the corner as Cage is still favouring that back a bit but he is fighting through the pain.

Masters: Cage ever resilient is right back into this thing. Nasty is sitting in the corner and…. Cage is hitting a Bronco Buster.

Daniels: Nasty is now down on the mat as Cage is helping the big man to his feet. Don’t know how sound this strategy is but Cage has got the big man back to his feet. Nasty swings a wild Haymaker and Cage ducks Nasty’s back is now to Cage and Cage pulls Nasty’s hair and hit’s a reverse DDT. Cage with the cover 1.…..2.…..NO!

Masters: Thankfully Big Nasty gets the shoulder up. Cage is trying to find a way to put the big man away as Cage I don’t think his back is strong enough to his the Stryker Driver.

Daniels: You could be right, however Cage is trying everything in his power to put the big man away. Cage hitting some stomps on Nasty as He once again is helping Nasty to his feet. He is trying to get Nasty up on the tope rope to hit that Cage Implant DDT. Nasty is trying to fight out of it as Nasty is sitting down on the top rope. Cage is up on the second rope as Nasty pushes him off. Cage then chargers and jumps up and nails Nasty with a huge right. Nasty reeling now on the rope as Stryker is going for the Implant but Nasty is hitting Cage with some punches to the injured back of Cage. Cage almost Falls off but maintains his balance as oh no…..

Masters: Nasty has Cage by the throat. Nasty is now on his feet as Nasty has Cage up in the air and Cage is frantically punching trying to get out of this predicament. Cage is down now on the second rope to the right of Nasty as he still has a hold of Stryker’s arm and he has a Triangle Choke in on Nasty who is still standing on the second rope. Nasty is doing everything he can as he lifts his right arm up bringing Cage up to a Powerbomb position. Nasty now jumps of the second rope…..

Daniels: HE TURNS THE TRIANGLE CHOKE INTO A POWER BOMB!

Masters: A Jumping Nasty Bomb off the Second Rope! What a move by Nasty! He now falls on Cage for the cover 1.…..2.…..3!

Daniels: it’s all over the Living Legend takes it.

Battery by Metallica starts playing again as Nasty is on his feet and he raises his left arm over his head still favouring his right arm from the Triangle Choke.

Jessica: Here is your winner. The Living Legend BIIIIG NASSSSTTYYYYYYYYY!

Masters: What a match, what a showing from Cage but NO BODY gets out from a Nasty Bomb when that somebody is about eight feet in the air.

Daniels: Stryker tries his best to walk away with the win. Doing everything he can but at the end of the day Nasty too big, to powerful and that Nasty Bomb was just too devastating. As the winner of this match is Big Nasty!

*****

Mike King arrives at the Acer Arena with his girlfriend Amber Wyndham. The crowd instantly boos King. King looks at Amber.

King: Well HateWave was a big night for the entire group that calls themselves Youthful Aggression. They ended Beautiful Agony inside of the barbaric steel cage under War Games rules while I, I exposed Kimo Newton as nothing more than a fraud, a phony, a poseur when I ended our feud and effectively retained my Intercontinental Title. He can do whatever now, as long as it isn't coming up to me and claiming that he can still beat me even though I proved him wrong twice. He can't even beat me sober.

Amber: That he can't hun. You are way better than him.

King: Yeah for all I care, he can face Chris Tolwar in a Damage Control match for all I care...

Amber: Aren't you scared of Damage Control?

King: No I am a champion, he wouldn't do that to a champion and if he does it just to me, I'll sue his ass for all he's worth. He and I had issues in the past because I was Tim Timmons' tag team partner at the time and he had beef with Tim. If he is not over that, he is an even bigger jerk than I realized he was before.

All of a sudden Chris Tolwar appears out of no where.

King: What are you doing here?

Tolwar: Me I am looking for catering, and a thank you.

King: A thank you, for what?

Tolwar: For what, I helped you retain your CZW Intercontinental title that you have become all Golem over.

King looks at him like he has three heads.

King: What do you mean, I won that match by my own and I am not saying "my precious" everytime I hold the title.

Tolwar: If I didn't help you, there wouldn't have been a fair fight.

King: Yeah because Kimo decided to be a sneaky little bitch but when it came to starting the match off. He knew he couldn't beat me fair so he tried to take it to me when I wouldn't expect it. It didn't work and I came out champion, the same way as I came in. I don't think a simple thank you is in order for you. Now hit the bricks.

Tolwar is getting angry with King.

Tolwar: No I won't hit the bricks. You don't treat your protege like that.

King looks at Tolwar as if he has 3 heads.

King: Protege, you are not my protege, you were. I can find anyone to be my protege to replace you Christopher. I've seen two cool guys a year ago who have promise, I think one's name is Randy and the other's is Ricky.

Tolwar: I am sooooooo not replacable, GODDAMN IT, why do you think that?

Tolwar starts going into a rage.

King: Well for one you are immature, case in point right now. And also I heard rumors of you shooting up in the bathrooms before you matches. What are you using steroids or human growth hormone?

Tolwar stops his ramblings.

Tolwar: I swear it's just milk.

King is not having of it and pokes Tolwar in the chest.

King: Whatever, tell it to someone who cares. You are pathetic and I hope you have a Damage Control match soon so you can be exposed as a phony just like Kimo.

King and Wyndham start walking away.

Tolwar: Why doesn't anyone believe me.

The scene ends with Tolwar dropping to his knees and crying out "why, why"

*****

The arena goes dark, except for the Combat-tron. The tron goes static-y, then these words flash across the screen.

378 days ago, I walked out of here, thinking it was all over.

378 days ago, I thought that I was done with this business.

378 days ago, I though I was done with CZW....but one championship reign is not what I want to leave behind as my legacy.

So now, 378 days later, your Angelic Enigma has returned...

378 days later, for one last try.

One last try, before I leave it all behind....

"Power" by Kanye West begins to play, and the screen goes static again, before showing a picture of the man behind the words, your Angelic Enigma....Ronnie McNeil. The pictures moves back, and it shows Ronnie staring at his target...the Intercontinental title.

The Intercontinental title is only the beginning....but oh what a glorious beginning it shall be. Mike King, prepare for your Flawless execution...

*****

‘Our Revolution’ by Halifax hits. The fans in attendance go completely mental at the sight of their hometown hero. Shawn Waters walks out onto the stage and grins.

Waters: It’s good to be home...

He makes his way to the ring, where his interview segment ‘Testing the Waters’ is set up. After waving at all four sections of the sold out crowd, he smirks and sits down in his chair.

Waters: Ahhhh...do you know how great it is to be back in Sydney, Australia...the GREATEST CITY IN THE WORLD!!

The fans go crazy for the cheap pop.

Waters: It’s been a long time...in fact...last time I was here...was back in 2008...and if I recall correctly...it wasn’t my most successful night in Sydney...I fought Ronnie McNeil for the TV title that night...and walked out the loser...sure I won the title two weeks later...but it would have meant so much more winning it in front of all of you! This time around...I walk into the Acer Arena holding the Money in the Bank briefcase! And tonight...I face Sam Attic...a member of the infamous Fiscus clan...I don’t plan on disappointing my city again!

The crowd begin a ‘LET’S GO WATERS’ chant. Shawn smiles and bows his head.

Waters: Thankyou, thankyou...thankyou for all showing up...and thankyou to my family and friends from my Dad’s old wrestling school...thanks for coming along!

Shawn’s family wave from the front row.

Waters: Now...I’m pretty sure it’s obvious why I’m out here a bit early...I figured...since it has been way too long since I have been in Sydney...you guys deserved an edition of Testing the Waters! Now...I tried to get El Pablo as a guest...but the guy proved to be the biggest diva ever...he requested a tree...four bowls of four different nuts, all still in their shells...and no flash photography!

Shawn shakes his head.

Waters: Squirrels these days...

Shawn laughs.

Waters: So...I had to move on the second best option...but I couldn’t get him either...so I had to scrape the bottom of the barrel...so my guest tonight...is everyone’s favourite hypocritical, straight-edge, crybaby gangsta...Kimo Newton!

The fans boo as Kimo walks out onto the stage as ‘It’s My Party’ by Leslie Gore plays. He glares into the ring, where Waters is laughing uncontrollably. The fans start chanting ‘CRYBABY’ to Kimo. Shawn regains his composure and nods to the production crew, who finally play ‘Unreal’ by Ill Nino. Kimo enters the ring, staring right at the Money in the Bank briefcase. He sits down as Shawn smirks.

Waters: Kimo! Welcome to the show...how’d you like my introduction?

Kimo stares right at Waters, angrily.

Waters: I see you didn't bring your baseball bat...don't want to hit another home run with my head?

Shawn laughs at his own joke.

Kimo: Kiss my ass Waters you fake mother fucker.

Waters: Ouch...hostile from the start are we? Anyway...my very first question...why exactly DID you attack me? Because you and I have never crossed paths...I even took your side during your little Mike King feud...what was the reason...homie?

Kimo: You want a reason? I've been busting my fucking ass off in this god damn company and I've been screwed on every opportunity! You fucking get a title shot?! What have you done?! You aren't even a wrestler! You are a commentator! You should be busy getting a fucking hand job from William Masters right now! Not here with a title shot! I told you why I attacked you. I am the real number 1 contender! Not you! I don't care what anyone says! You aren't getting a title shot before me!

Waters: Well, uh...it looks like I AM getting a title shot before you...I could cash in tonight if I wanted to...and there is not a thing you could do about it...

Kimo: Oh yeah...you think a baseball bat was harsh...I could do things to you that would fuck with your head and body...you wouldn’t even make it to the hospital!

Waters: Strong words from a guy who couldn't even beat Mike King...

Kimo: Oh you really want to go there?! YOU REALLY WANT TO GO THERE?! I fucking beat Mike King! He was down and out! I fucking shattered that iPad over his head and the referee refused to count! I had a 15 count on his ass! But noooo! Like always the CZW has to screw me over! What has Theresa Baines done about that travesty? Nothing! But you know what? I never wanted that damn title to begin with because I should be the World Champion right now!

Waters: See...all I hear is complaining coming from your mouth...yet not much action...yeah, sure...you attacked me at Hatewave...but come on man...I’d been through a gruelling match and had no chance to fight back...you might as well go stomp on an anthill...you’ll look just as tough...talking gets you nowhere...it’s all about what you can do in the ring...and one man who agrees with me is your opponent tonight, El Pablo...one of CZW's legends...and our current X champion...how have you prepared for this match?

Kimo: How have I prepared? Well I've sat on my sofa... I went out to Burger King and got myself a Whopper, and to boot I've done absolutely no training at all! You wanna know why? EL PABLO IS A FUCKING JOKE! All he is is a guy who is too delusional to realize that he is being manipulated by the system! The marketing department owns him! He is too much of a pussy to break away from the fatal grasp they have! Me? I keep it real! I don't need a fruity costume to make it big here! I am who I am! Don't like me? Fuck you!

Waters: Underestimate him all you want...he’s been a World Champion...have you?

Kimo stands angrily, but Shawn just laughs.

Waters: Calm down there, jumpy...speaking of world champions...what do you have to say to Mortius, the CURRENT world champion?

Kimo: First of all, Shawn...stop with the fucking fake ass attitude...you like to think you are bad ass...but if I ran at you right now, you’d be in William Masters lap faster than you can say ‘Waters is a bitch.’ Now...Mortius... Why the fuck did this clown even get a title shot in the first place?! Where was he a month ago?! He wasn't even in this federation for a month and he just jumps right to the front of the line?! Man fuck that! That is some fucked up shit right there! And what the fuck is he supposed to be some sort of demon? Am I supposed to be scared of Mortius?! I can go to a Halloween store and pay off a few production guys as well and do the exact same damn thing that he can! Mind games?! I LAUGH AT THAT SHIT! In fact I'm willing to bet he's under the ring with a PSP waiting for tonight! Hello!!!

(Kimo rolls out of the ring and lifts up the side skirts.)

Kimo: Hello! Mortius! You under there? You busy drinking that Juicy Juice with blood food coloring in it? Come on out Mortius! We won't hurt you! Oh wait you're the man of darkness! You can't be seen in day light! Here! I got SPF 30!

(Kimo pulls out a bottle of sunscreen and throws it under the ring.)

Waters: Uhhh Kimo what are you doing? We are kind of in the middle of a show!

Kimo: Kill the lights! Someone kill the lights in the arena! He's too scared to come out!

(The lights go out in the arena as everyone looks on confused.)

Kimo: Oh my god! There he is! I see him! I see him!

(The lights come back on and Kimo is standing there with a mop head on his head and wearing a bathrobe.)

Kimo: I AM THE PRINCE OF ALL THAT IS STUPID! I AM MORTIUS!!!

(Waters shakes his head disgusted at Kimo’s tirade.)

Kimo: Man fuck this fake ass shit!

(Kimo says throwing the mop head and bathrobe off.)

Kimo: You see what I mean? He isn’t intimidating! Fuckin hell I could do the same exact damn thing!

Waters: Sure you could...anyway...are you at all concerned about this new Damage Control initiative?

Kimo: Waters if the question has nothing to do with the name Kimo Newton then I’m not interested!

Waters: But it does concern Kimo Newton, you idiot. It concerns everyone!

Kimo: Look Waters… Derek Damage knows better. He knows that if he fires the number 1 most talented mother fucker in the CZW then all hell will break loose! He knows that I’m the type that will do whatever he wants. And you know what? I’ll fucking light this god damn ring on fire if he wants to play that game with me. Fuckin hell I’ll burn the damn arena to the ground! I don’t give a fuck! In fact you know what? I deserve a show more than you do Waters! I am taking this show over!

Waters: What?! I don’t think so!

Kimo: That’s right bitch! You’re the guest on my show! You know what the difference between us is Waters?!

(Kimo asks as he slides out of the ring and starts rummaging under the ring.)

Waters: Kimo… We are like night and day… I don’t know what answer you’re looking for. But if I could take a guess...it’d be that I’m not a whiny bitch...where as you are?

(A baseball bat goes flying into the ring along with a gas can. Kimo then slides back into the ring with a sadistic look on his face.)

Kimo: The difference between us is that I don’t need all of this fancy leather furniture!

(Kimo suddenly grabs the bat and starts smashing the couches. Like a crazed animal Kimo starts ripping the padding out flinging it all over the arena.)

Waters: My couches!!

Kimo: Or these stupid chairs!

(Kimo swings the bat knocking a chair over. Kimo picks it up and camera men go flying out of the way as the chair is hurled over the ring.)

Waters: Dude! What the hell!

Kimo: Or this overly priced… What is it that you call? Waterstron 5001?

Waters: Hey now...not cool, man...no cool! Not the obscenely expensive Waterstron 5001! Do you know how much tha...

(Kimo suddenly turns and super kicks the flat screen TV shattering it. Letting out a roar Kimo smashes the TV into pieces as Waters stands there with a mortified look on his face.)

Waters: Well thank you Kimo! You’d make a wonderful demolition man! You with your baseball bat and that thug attitude of yours… I bet you feel like a real bad ass now!

Kimo: I’m not fucking done yet Waters!

(Kimo suddenly grabs the gas can and starts pouring gasoline all over the red carpet in the ring.)

Kimo: And most of all! I don’t fucking need a fancy red carpet on my show!

(Kimo says as he rolls out of the ring. Pulling out a match Kimo lights it up and chucks it into the ring. Flames erupt as Waters scrambles out of the ring.)

Waters: Are you out of your damn mind?!

Kimo: No Waters! I am very much in my own mind! I just don’t believe in fakes!

Waters: You wanna talk about fakes? Look in the mirror...

Kimo: Shut the fuck up Waters or I will kill you where you stand! Now...

(Kimo walks over to the camera man.)

Kimo: Mr. Camera Man… Keep the camera on me! And only me! This is my show now! Waters rolls his eyes and sarcastically shrugs...

Waters: What's with the change of attitude, dawg? What happened to the gangsta Kimo Newton we all knew and loved?

Kimo: Waters that wasn’t the real Kimo Newton! The only reason anyone even cheered for me was because I acted like a complete idiot! And to further prove my point I am going to ask these fans a question.

(Kimo walks over to a small boy sitting ringside.)

Kimo: Hey kid who is your favorite wrestler?

(The kid smiles pointing to his El Pablo T-Shirt.)

Kid: Pablo is!

(The fans cheer as his name appears.)

Kimo: See that?! Pathetic!

(Kimo then turns and looks at the kid’s father.)

Kimo: What about you sir? The father of this poor brainwashed child. Who do you like?

(Kimo shoves the microphone into the guy’s face.)

Fan: Well I suppose my favorite is Matt Covey. You gotta love a guy who drinks and fights!

(Kimo slaps his forehead clearly disgusted beyond words.)

Kimo: Great great. What a wonderful example you are setting for your child. It’s no wonder why he probably eats his Cheerios with a fork and thinks horses go moo! Two prime examples of the corruption going on in this world! The fakest stars are the most popular stars. I keep it real and I get booed out of the arena?

(Kimo turns back to the fans and sighs.)

Kimo: So with the rubbish of a show Shawn Waters has provided with you let me ask you this. Do you think Shawn Waters sucks ass?

(The man leans into the microphone.)

Fan: Why no I don’t he earned that ti…

(Kimo turns around and punches the fan right in the face grabbing him by his shirt and flinging him over the guard rail as his son screams in horror.)

Waters: Kimo, what the fuck? I have seen enough! I am not going to sit here and let you cause another riot like you did at Hatewave! This is Sydney, Australia...my hometown...and I will not let you treat MY friends...MY family...MY people...like that!

Kimo: Why the fuck are you even still here?! This is my show now remember?! Why don’t you go hit up the vending machine and go grab yourself a Snickers Bar or something?!

(Kimo starts kicking the boy’s father relentless not even showing any sense of remorse or rationality.)

Waters: That’s it!

(Shawn Waters walks over grabbing Kimo pulling him off the poor fan. Kimo turns around and cracks Waters right in the head with the microphone where he falls over in a heap. Kimo proceeds to walk over grabbing another microphone that isn’t broken before continuing.)

Kimo: Remember camera man keep that camera on me! I am the star of the show you know!

(Kimo says as he spots someone ringside and he smiles sadistically. He walks over to an elderly woman sitting ringside.)

Kimo: My my don’t you look familiar. You’re Waters’ dad’s mother. You’re Waters’ grandma aren’t ya!

(The old lady nods her head clearly scared of Kimo from the carnage he has been causing tonight.)

Kimo: So your son is a pro wrestler to huh. Well let me ask you this. How the fuck does it feel having a failure of a son and an even bigger failure of a grandson huh?! It’s obvious your son had no talent at all because your grand son is a complete joke! Shawn Waters is nothing!!!

(The Waters’ grandmother backs up a few steps her face turning pale white. Kimo grabs her by her shirt looking directly in her face.)

Kimo: DO YOU HONESTLY THINK THEY ARE BETTER THAN ME!? FUCKING TELL ME THAT I AM BETTER THAN THEM! I WANT YOU TO FUCKING SAY IT! TELL THE WHOLE WORLD THAT KIMO NEWTON IS BETTER THAN THEM!!!

(Kimo shoves the microphone into her face.) Grandma: I… I don’t feel so good…

Suddenly the old lady collapses against the barricade clutching her chest. Waters gets up horrified at what just happened. Kimo smirks looking down at her and lets out an amusing laugh. With the microphone still in hand he turns to Waters.)

Kimo: The one thing you and this old bat have in common is this. Your gimmick is as fake as her heart!

Kimo drops the microphone as the arena erupts into boos.)

Audience: ASS HOLE! ASS HOLE! ASS HOLE! ASS HOLE!

Kimo flips everyone the middle finger as garbage is starting to get thrown at him walking up the ramp. EMT’s rush down to ringside to aid Shawn’s grandmother. Shawn looks on, distraught.

Daniels: Kimo Newton is sick...

Masters: You know...normally I’d approve of something like that...I almost squealed with glee when he hammered Shawn with the microphone...but even I know threatening an old lady is too far...

Daniels: But if a Fiscus did it it’d be alright, right?

Masters: They are sophisticated, fair people...they’d have their reasons.

Daniels: Well we’ll cut to commercial’s while Grandma Waters is taken to hospital...when we return...Shawn Waters will wrestle Sam Attic...

*****

-=- THE HOMETOWN HERO TAKES ON THE FORMER X CHAMP! -=-
"Mr. Money in the Bank" Shawn Waters vs. "Psycho" Sam Attic

*****

Sam Attic enters the ring, accompanied by Simone. He doesn’t look happy, but he does seem eager to get into the ring. Shawn Waters is still in the ring from his Testing the Waters show, his mind obviously preoccupied with what happened with his grandmother.

The bell rings and Sam immediately attacks Waters, getting the jump on his opponent who wasn’t focusing on Sam prior to the bell. Attic wails on Waters in the corner, venting his frustrations on losing his title. Sam whips Waters to the far side, and Waters bounces out of the corner to be taken off his feet by a Sam Attic heel kick! Sam begins showboating a bit, growing overconfident and tosses ‘Mr. Money in the Bank’ into the ropes, going for a back-body drop but eating a ‘Waterlogged’ DDT instead!

The fans are firmly behind Shawn as he begins to vent a little frustration as well, going a little ground-and-pound on Sam before picking him up and throwing him into the corner. Waters opens up with a series of chops, the crowd ‘woo’-ing with each one. Waters then whips Sam to the far corner, charging in after him but eating both of Attic’s boots as Sam counters by kicking his feet up! Attic hops to the second turnbuckle, leaping off and catching Shawn with a flying tornado DDT! Sam goes for the cover, but Shawn is able to kick out at two. Attic looks to go high risk, but, out of desperation, Shawn dropkicks the top rope, unbalancing Attic and causing him to fall to the apron and then the floor!

Waters looks to perhaps capitalize, but his mind is clearly not in the game for this one. Simone helps Sam to his feet, and Attic rolls back into the ring. Shawn goes to pick him up, but Attic hits a low blow! The fans boo Attic heavily, but naturally he doesn’t care. Sam bounds off the near ropes and dropkicks a doubled-over Waters in the temple, rolling Shawn over and making another cover! Again, Waters is able to kick out, irritating Sam to no end. Attic measures Shawn, waiting for him to stand and then spinning him around, shouldering him for the Terror Ride, but Shawn drops down behind Attic and executes a neckbreaker!! Shawn goes for the pin, but Attic is out at two, rolling to the outside after the kick-out. Again, Waters’ mind wanders and Sam looks to take advantage, sneaking back in and charging Shawn from behind. Waters counters, however, catching Sam with a back-elbow, staggering him! Waters boots Attic in the gut, hooking him up for the Brainwash, but Attic backdrops Shawn instead! Attic rushes the ropes and tries a cross-body block, but Waters baseball slides under the attack, causing Sam to crash and burn!! Shawn then heads to the top rope, measuring Attic. A distant look on Shawn’s face once more tells of his mind being preoccupied, but he shakes it off. He dives with a flying lariat, but Sam ducks! In mid-move, Shawn flips over Sam, hitting the mat hard, but attempting to pull him into a sunset flip! As he kicks up to hook Sam’s arms, Attic drops down and hooks Shawn’s legs for the pin! The referee counts to three and the match is OVER!! Sam Attic celebrates with Simone as Shawn pounds the mat in frustration!

Winner- “Psycho” Sam Attic

*****

Daniels: Once again folks, we're going to take you back to the now infamous scaffold match from Hatewave. Once again, we remind you that these images are not for the faint of heart, nor do we advise children seeing any of this.

Masters: Put the brats to bed!

A video package airs, highlighting the debauchery of violence displayed vividly by Buzzsaw and Matt Covey. Highlights include the belt-sander to Buzzsaw's ass, the flaming kendo stick to Matt's back, the nail driven through Buzz's foot, and the mid-match beer bash resulting in a bottle being busted across Matt's face. The video pauses as Buzz is shown throwing Covey and Morgan Mayhem from the scaffold, but the following sound of them crashing to the ring below is still heard. Once more, the video pauses right as Jacob Mayhem tosses Buzzsaw from the scaffold, the ensuing crash still heard.

Masters: Normally, I'm all for the blood and violence, but I simply cannot bare to rewatch that train wreck of human bodies. My stomach literally turns just reliving those clips.

Daniels: It's not often we share sentiments, Masters. But I'm going to have to agree. Some people are actually speculating that these men have taken things too far. Baines herself has made it very vocal backstage that she was highly disappointed by the turn of events.

Masters: As she should be. There's no cause for these men to so precariously take their lives into their hands in such a fashion.

Daniels: Well, I'm sure there's one man who would disagree, and we're going to speak to him live, via satellite, in just a moment.

The Combat-tron hums to life, displaying Matt Covey. He's sitting in a wheel chair, bandages covering large portions of his face, yet the swelling of purple bruises still shines prominently beneath them. A cigarette rests in one hand, his eyes darting nervously back and forth.

Daniels: Thanks for joining us here tonight, Matt. First off, could you tell us how you're doing?

Bad Ass: How I'm doing? You're asking me how I"M DOING?!? Look at me, Daniels!

Matt holds the hand with the cigarette up, it's trembling spasmatically.

Bad Ass: I look like some asshole who fell from a great height and busted his entire body up in the fucking process! Oh wait... I DID! Jesus Christ, I feel like somebody put me in a human sized blender made of those sharp ass Ginsu knives and set my ass on fucking puree! I can't stop shaking. I can't fucking walk. My bruises have stitches and my fucking stitches have bruises! How the FUCK do you THINK I'm doing?!?

Daniels: Sorry, I didn't mean any disrespect...

Bad Ass: Of course you didn't. You don't have any balls. You're sans balls, as the French in France would say.

Daniels: Looking back on your match at Hatewave, are you satisfied with the results? And if you had it to do all over again, would you?

Bad Ass: What kind of a stupid fucking question is that? OF COURSE I'd do it again! I learned a long time ago, there ain't no point in regretting the past. Did I win? No. It was never my intention to win. I wanted the fight of my life, and by God, Buzzsaw gave it to me! There's nothing like the feeling you get when you're testing another man's mettle. Finding out what makes him tick and how far he's willing to go with the push of the right buttons. I lost, sure. But I lost like a man, with a fucking smile on my face! It was the greatest moment of my life!

Daniels: What about the controversy in how the match ended? Primarily, the involvement of the Mayhem family.

Bad Ass: Ah, Morgan Mayhem... That bitch is a hellcat, let me tell ya. She was willing to fight for her man. Ironically enough, her man was willing to sacrifice her to get the job done. I can respect that. Hell, I'm not mad at Buzzsaw at all. You better believe if that psycho-cunt Hellena had still been in my corner, I would have done the exact same thing! Hell, if she'd still been around, maybe we could have just thrown the bitches over instead and had some more beer. Did I see it coming? No. Should I have? Probably. Derek Stone found his opening and he took it for the win. There's no shame in that.

Daniels: and what of Jakob Mayhem who following the match, threw Buzzsaw to the ring as well, before throwing down the challenge to finish off both you and Buzzsaw?

Matt looks shaken for a moment before hitting the last of his cigarette and tossing it away, his hands still shaking.

Bad Ass: You know, I was out of it after I hit the ring. The first thing I did when I woke up in the emergency room was ask for Buzz. Hell, I figured he'd be off celebrating his victory. But no, instead I'm informed that he was in ICU after being thrown from the scaffold as well. That was the shocker for me. It may have been the morphine, but all I could do was ask why Buzzsaw would willingly throw himself from the platform. Then I'm told that Jakob Mayhem threw himself one major bitch-fit and nearly killed a man who I'd already worn down. That news has unbridled a lot of emotions within me. The most prominent being hate...

Daniels: Why hate? Mayhem never touched you.

Bad Ass: No, he didn't touch me. He did worse! He took what was to be a career defining moment for both Stone and myself, and he shit on it! He stuck his nose in my business, and for what? Some age old fued with Buzz? Because he couldn't get the job done months ago? Whatever his reason for getting his panties up in a bunch, he stuck that large deformed nose of his in MY fucking business. And I'm not the type to let that slide. Ever.

Daniels: Rumor is circulating that the higher-ups are currently displeased with how far you and Buzzsaw were willing to go at the show. What are your thoughts?

Bad Ass: Seems kind of funny to me that Baines wanted Buzz and myself to tone down the violence in a company that built it's foundation on the shit. I also find it strange that Mayhem just somehow gained easy access to the rafters and that spinning platform. I mean, he's not the brightest crayon in the box. More often than not, he just points at things, grunts, and then goes and smashes them. He wouldn't have been smart enough to plot that attack himself. I'm almost positive it was an inside job. At first I blamed, Baines. Why not? She fears what she doesn't understand, and what she doesn't understand are guys like Stone and Covey. So why not unleash Mayhem on us and take us out all at once? Wait for one man to win, and drop the other on his fucking head. And while that may still be the case, I've got this gut feeling telling me that it doesn't end with her. Not at all. Suddenly, the old man is back and he's putting guys like Rowan and Fiscus on the chopping block?!? Something stinks in CZW, and trust me when I say that this time, it's NOT Jenny Jacobs pussy! I'm gonna get to the bottom of this, and Jakob Mayhem is currently sitting at the top. That's a bad place to be, Jake. Wrong place. Wrong time. And speaking of time, yours is about to run out!

Daniels: Interesting theory aside, have you decided to accept Mayhem's challenge? And if so, will you be fit to compete?

Bad Ass: The answer you're looking for, Daniels, is a big emphatic YES!!! That big son of a bitch knows damn well, he didn't even need to bother asking. I'm sure by all accounts that Buzz will agree as well. Buzz and I still have some unfinished business on a competitive side. But Mayhem? It's personal. I'm gonna cut that big fucker's legs out from under him with a chainsaw and I'm going to feed him a large dose of brutality that the world has never seen. If those dipshits in the back think Buzz and I took things too far between ourselves, then they're in for a rude fucking awakening! It only gets worse from here, people. The blood letting has only just begun. Before it's all said and done, I'm going to mount Mayhem's skull on my fucking wall! My inner demons have awakened once more, and right now they're telling me... Well... They're telling me Jakob Mayhem has to die! We'll have to wait and see if I choose to obey them or not...

Suddenly, "Born in a Burial Gown" begins to play, the crowd reacting with boos as Jakob Mayhem hits the stage. He smiles a wicked grin as the crowd begin littering his path with half empty beer cups and random trash. He ignores them as well as Matt Covey on the tron who stares a hole through the back of his head. Mayhem enters the rin, taking a mic from Jessica Towers before addressing the Combat-tron.

Jakob Mayhem: Well, well, well... If it isn't the man who took the first plunge only to land on that fat ass of his! You should change your name to "Fat Ass" Matt Covey! Yeah, that has a ring to it. I mean...look at you! You're in a wheelchair! Like you said, you can't walk. So I'm thinking that by the time you can, you're gonna have eaten your way through forty cartons of ice-cream trying to drown your sorrows. Unfortunately for you, that still won't be enough to stop me from ripping your limbs off and beating you to death with them!

Pausing as the crowd got louder. He smiled and gave the cut throat sign. If it could be said anyone would enjoy such a reaction it was at this point and it was this man.

Jakob: Covey when Buzz came here it was in part to get work, cause we all know he would be on skid row if he hadn’t, but he also knew I was here. Buzz isn’t the kind of man to leave things unresolved. He wanted blood and I wanted to make him bleed. Mutual wants. So as everyone knows, Kirkland pussed out and got a title he thought was more his speed. That left the UV title up for grabs and since you were being a little bitch and ignoring who you really are, that left two men who were born and bred to get that title. We had a great battle and then, oh yeah, then you screwed it all up. You put your two cents worth in and good old Derek was the new champ.

The crowd was not sympathetic at all. Some made mocking crying signs and others laughed. A small loser chant broke out. But it was all ignored.

Jakob: It was never about the belt Covey. It is the same then with Derek and myself as it is with you and him. Its about the fight. So to make it short so your limited brain can understand. I did to you what you did to me. I stole your chance to stand tall with pride at what you did. But does that make you happy? No it doesn’t and I will tell you why. Its because you cant beat Derek. I can. I have before and I will again. So that means by logical progression, that I can beat your ass too. So while you are in that wheelchair, it isn’t your fall that makes you shake, it’s the thought that you cant escape the cage. This match I knew you would accept is worse than any hell in a cell. Its worse than an anything goes street fight. It is one of the worse matches ever used. The cage has no doors. It totally encloses the ring and the ring side area. It is covered with weapons, the area around the ring is covered in weapons and the best thing is Matt old pal, in order to win both of your opponents have to be down and cant get back up for a ten count. Yeah last man standing in enclosed cage with weapons. A little match I call the Death Cell. In order to survive, it will kill you mentally and physically. And if it doesn’t kill you, it will make you wish you were. So be ready Matt and you too Derek, be ready for your careers and livelihood to end.

He stood looking at the screen where he could see Covey was mad as hell, now his shaking was from anger. Suddenly, the screen on the tron began to flicker uncontrollably. Matt slowly dissapeared from the screen, and in his place was a video of Buzzsaw!Buzz's face was similiarly bandaged and bruised.

Buzzsaw: Pardon me for breaking up this lovers quirrel you two got going here, but I do believe you're missing the big picture, Jake. And by "big picture", I mean you forgot to cover your bases you big asshole!

The screen slowly pans out to reveal Buzz standing next to the bloody and unconscious form of Jakob's brother Ezra. In Buzz's hand rests a hammer instead of his trademark kendo stick.

Daniels: Oh my god! Does this mean...

Masters: Is Buzzsaw HERE in the building?!? I thought he was in Akron...

Before Masters can finish, he's interrupted as Ezra tries desperately to raise an arm. As if on cue, Buzzsaw savagely takes the claw side of the hammer and begins to repeatedly pound it into the unprotected flesh of Ezra's arm, drawing blood on impact. Ezra screams aloud like a dying beast in agony.

Daniels: BUZZSAW IS HERE IN SYDNEY!!!!

Buzzsaw: You see, the problem with you Mayhem’s is every time you turn around there is another one of you popping up. Christ did your father fuck everything that talked to him? But you see Jakob I took a page from your playbook and took your sister from you, one Mayhem down and as you can see Ezra here, well let’s just call it two Mayhem’s down….

Masters: Well one Mayhem seems to be going DOWN a lot these days…..

Daniels: MASTERS YOU CAN’T SAY THAT ON AIR!!!!!

Buzzsaw drops the hammer and grabs a chair, Ezra tries to brace himself but with the injured arm isn’t quick enough and is silenced by a chair shot to the face….

Daniels: OH GOD!!!!!

Buzzsaw: There you go Ezra, quiet time. You see Jakob you have a knack for always having the upper hand, you always have the numbers just in case, but you are slipping old man. You let me get my hooks in your sister, you took her for granted and she left your ranks and tonight you were in a rush to get out to that ring and get some much needed face time that you left the one man watching your back vulnerable.

Masters: Jakob’s back up is gone, he’s got no one to help him.

Daniels: He’s out there alone, a sitting duck.

Buzzsaw steps over Ezra…

Buzzsaw: You see what you people don’t get is Jakob had to sit back at Hatewave and watch as two other guys had the spot light, you see Jakob claims to be a man without fear, he likes you all to believe that he is a monster, but deep down he knows he’s fading away. He watched just like all of you fans as Matt Covey and I tore each other apart and gave this company a match that people will be talking about for years and it kills Jakob that he wasn’t apart of it, so he couldn’t help himself, he had to get some face time at the end of OUR match and try to reclaim the spotlight. You stand out there and act like you were the last man standing at Hatewave, and now you are out there coming up with a match that you hope will top the Scaffold Match and issuing this challenge to two men who just went through hell, but don’t worry about it Jakob, we are not going to use that match as an excuse to turn you down. I said when I won this title I was going to take it to the next level, to give the blood thirsty CZW fans the violent matches they want. So I worked out a deal with Ms. Baines, and as soon as the ink was dry I hopped a bird to the land down under because I knew you would go out there tonight trying to tell the world how you were the only man standing but here I am Jakob. Now the two of you seem to have some stuff to work out so I won’t keep you, I’ll be seeing you boys next week!

Buzzsaw smiles maniacally at his victim as the video fades. Jakob is suddenly incensed, rushing to exit the ring. He begins to storm angrily up the ramp.

Masters: Save your brother, Jakob!

Mayhem makes it half way up the ramp, when "Tapping Into the Emotional Void" begins to play. Suddenly the crowd are on their feet with cheers as Mayhem begins to slow his advance.

Daniels: What the...? Is Covey here too?!?

Sure enough, CZW's resident "Bad Ass" rolls out onto the stage in his wheelchair, the crowd erupting into a frenzy.

Masters: Doesn't anybody follow doctor's orders anymore? He shouldn't be here!

Daniels: I think Mayhem disagrees. He's smiling!

Masters: Of course he is! Covey is a sitting duck!

Mayhem confidently advances once more. Matt's face is cold and emotionless as he watches his would-be assailant rush him. But at the last second, Matt reaches into his leather jacket and pulls something out...

Daniels: What is he doing? Is that... Is that a...

Masters: HE'S GOT A GUN!!!

Daniels: WHAT?!?

Matt points a 9mm handgun right at Jakob Mayhem's face. Jakob stops in his tracks, his smile fading away. His fingers rub together frantically as if trying to decide what to do next. Jakob calms himself and slowly takes a few steps back down the ramp, his eyes never leaving the gun. And then Matt suddenly stands up, walking away from his wheelchair.

Daniels: Covey can walk! Oh God, can we show this?!?

Masters: This isn't good. This isn't good. Somebody arrest him!

Mayhem's face suddenly looks panic'ed as he turns to run. But his legs trip over themselves in the excitement, and he falls to the ramp. Matt aproaches him quickly, gun still aimed, face still uncaring. And suddenly Covey is on him, kneeled over Mayhem's chest. Jakob throws his arms out, but Covey works his way in, turning the gun. He immediately begins bashing Mayhem in the face repeatedly with the butt of the gun!

Daniels: Covey is pistol whipping Mayhem! He's not going to shoot him!

Masters: It's still illegal! Somebody do something!!!

Bad Ass continues pistol whipping Mayhem's face savagely as the blood begins to fly sporadically. The crowd is quiet, as the shocking turn of events unfolds before their eyes. Finally, Casey Rogers, Ian Chadwick, the wrestler formerly known as Rave, and the rest of CZW security flock to ringside. Casey pulls Covey back, but Matt throws his head backwards, butting Casey in the face! Rogers lets go of his grip, and Covey is back on Mayhem swinging once again! He who was once known as Rave intervenes, but Matt turns and drives the butt of the gun into his temple, knocking him aside, before returning to his assault on Mayhem.

Masters: He's fucking insane!!!

Daniels: You can't say that word!

Masters: He's fucking crazy!!!

Daniels: Much better.

Finally, the security out numbers Covey and they drag him, kicking and swinging, off of Mayhem as more security advance upon the ramp to tend to Mayhem. Covey drops the gun as security grab his limbs, hoisting him up the ramp. Finally, Theresa Baines and Sydney authorities make their way to the stage where they quickly slap handcuffs on Covey to restrain him. Meanwhile, Mayhem runs his hands over his blood covered face, his anger returning. And then he spots the gun...

Masters: Finally! It's over!

Daniels: Wait... I think Mayhem notices the gun!

Masters: Why hasn't anybody grabbed it yet?!?

Mayhem shoves security and medics aside, diving for the handgun. As soon as he gets his hands on it, he returns to his feet, bellowing a loud roar of anger. Instantly, he aims the gun at Covey... Theresa Baines screams a blood curdling response...

And Mayhem pulls the trigger. The arena goes silent, everybody stopping what they were doing.

Masters: ...

Daniels: ...

Nothing happens. Suddenly, Matt blows up, laughing with a deep rooted sinister intent. Mayhem's face turns from confusion to anger and back as once again he pulls the trigger. And again. and again. Still, nothing happens...

Masters: What in the hell?!?

Mayhem quickly releases the clip from the butt of the gun. He screams once more angrilly as he turns and throws the empty clip off into the crowd.

Daniels: It was empty! Buzzsaw and Covey have set Mayhem up here in Sydney!!!

Masters: Crush his skull Jakob!!!

The authorities quickly step in, placing cuffs on Mayhem as well for attempted murder. Covey continues to laugh as the cops lead him up the stage, the crowd chanting "BAD ASS! BAD ASS! BAD ASS!" as he's lead to the back. Mayhem struggles against the cops, and it takes two pairs of inter-linked cuffs just to hold the monster's hands in binding. Jakob screams aloud as he too is lead up the stage, face covered in blood...

Jakob Mayhem: I'LL KILL YOU, COVEY!!! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!!!

The show cuts to commercial on Jakob's furious expression.

*****

-=- NON-TITLE SINGLES MATCH! -=-
"The Hawaiian Hustler" Kimo Newton vs. "The Five Star Superstar" El Pablo

*****

Kimo is out first to a loud negative reaction and he returns the sentiment by flipping off the crowd all the way to the ring. EP heads out next with Crystal, proudly displaying the X Division Championship.

The match starts off slowly with El Pablo using all sorts of antics to really get under the skin of Kimo, and Kimo eventually stops the tomfoolery with a cheap shot, spitting in the face of EP and following it up with a quick ambush. Kimo dominates the match for a good while, mostly just brawling with Pabs, choking him with his own boa and trying to tear the mask off. Pablo frantically tries to keep his face hidden despite the fact that the first half of his career in CZW was wrestled without a mask and so everyone knows what he looks like anyway.

Kimo goes for the Tequila Shot, but EP rolls out of the way, and Kimo begins favoring his ankle after the missed stomp. Pablo begins focusing his attention on the wounded limb, executing a baseball slide kick and taking Kimo off his feet. The fans cheer EP on as he uses his fast-paced offense to keep Kimo grounded, alternating with attacks to the ankle and his typical aerial assault. Eventually, Kimo escapes to the outside and EP goes for a suicide dive, only to dive face-first into a bottle swung by Kimo! Newton gets Pabs back into the ring for a count of two and then resumes punishing the masked man. Kimo measures EP for a superkick, but accidentally takes out the ref as Pablo tumbles out of the way. As Kimo turns, EP connects with the IDENTITY CRISIS! Pablo makes the cover, but there is no ref to make the count.

As Pablo tries to rouse the ref, Sam Attic charges the ring with a ladder, sneak attacking EP with a vicious running charge! Attic then retrieves a table from under the ring and sets it up in the ring, rolling Pablo onto it and then setting the ladder up, climbing that himself. Attic then leaps off with a senton splash, driving EP through the timber!! Attic then walks away, a crazy smile on his face. Kimo has begun to recover at this point and, with a fierce glare on his face, he heads up the ladder, diving off with the TEQUILA SHOT!! Pablo rolls around in agony before Kimo makes the cover, the dazed referee naturally waking up in time to count the fall!

Newton scores the victory, taunting to the crowd as Attic watches on with glee from the top of the stage.

Winner- Kimo Newton

*****

The lights go down, the crowd look around, not sure what to expect, but knowing to expect something. A wind is heard gently blowing through the P.A as purple smoke fills the stage area. The first few haunting strings are heard from 'Tearing the Veil from Grace' and the crowd goes into a frenzy. The cheering is explosive as finally, Mortius, garbed in his usual leather coat, adorned with shining silver buckles and high sleeveless shoulders, steps out in front of the amassed audience, his raven black hair long and sleek. Most prominent is the CZW World Heavyweight Championship unbuckled, over his right shoulder. He looks around from the top of the stage to the fans who get to their feet cheering and applauding as he makes his way down the ramp

Towers: And now, coming down the ramp, hailing from San Antonio Texas, he is your... NEW...

At this word the crowd explode once more, making Towers barely heard over the noise

Towers: World Heavyweight Champion... MORTIUS!

Daniels: I may not like everything about this man, but the crowd certainly does, and it's good to see that belt on someone else i must say

Masters: Shut up Daniels... just.... shut up

Daniels: No can do, he secured the win at the very eventful Hatewave main event, a first here in CZW, a fatal fourway Riot Match. As the smoke cleared the Shadow of CZW prevailed

Masters: God damn, shut the hell up

Daniels: I... oh wait, the champ is about to speak

Masters: (groan)

Mortius, with a simple look over the audience seems to silence them, they sit respectfully to wait for his first words as CZW Champion. When he speaks, as usual, it seems to be without the use of a microphone, but his eerily deep voice still booms out over the speakers as his Music dies away

Mortius: At Hatewave i proved to be true to my word.... in one respect, but not however, in another

Masters: What's he ta...

Daniels: Shut up Masters!

Mortius: I said that i would win this...

Mortius unslings the WHC from his shoulder and looks down on it

Mortius: ...and usher in an age of Shadow, i did, and i shall...

The crowd once again pick up the noise, clapping and whooping, but Mortius cuts over them

Mortius: BUT.... I said i would do it at the expense of Alan Fiscus, and i didn't, I understand his anger at losing the belt in this fashion, it has irked me, but the more i thought about it, the more i came to realize that this belt means the same to me no matter who i beat for it, because at the end of the match, out of the four men, i WAS the best, i walked out with the strap and a shadow fell over CZW. I was called in to dethrone Fiscus and i done this. Alan you can complain all you want, but let me ask you, if we had completed the pin at the same time what then? Logically in that kind of unprecedented situation we would have carried on one on one or the match would simply have continued until there was one winner. Either way the result would have been the same, i would have walked out as i did... the World Champion. You can disagree however, and maybe tonight you get a chance to face me one on one at Horrorcore only to be proved the inferior of me, or maybe, just maybe... you get fired!

A great cheer erupts at this, Mortius this time lets it abate before continuing

Mortius: Derek Damage, i don't care about your new ''initiative'', you want to bury your company by firing decent talent because of a nights performance then fine, just stay out of my way, because belt or no, contract or no, if you decide to walk in MY shadow i will encompass you. Speaking of his plan though, tonights main event is certainly one ....

Mortius is cut off by ''Let Me Entertain You'' The crowd roar as none other than Brian Blaze steps out onto the stage, with a huge smile on his face he runs down the ramp, slapping as many fans hands as he can in the process, he slides into the ring and jumps up, throwing both arms around the waist of Mortius. Mortius looks down on his old Tag Team partner, not really knowing how to react, luckily Blaze lets go before he makes up his mind. Blaze runs to the ropes and asks for a mic, which is handed up

Blaze: MOR...TI...US! You old World Heavyweight Champion you, how you doing?

Mortius: Well i ...

Blaze: Good good, man, it's been too long, we haven't really caught up since you came back, but i see you're doing well for yourself. So how was your time away from us?

Mortius: It was...

Blaze: GREAT! Great stuff man, wow, the big gold eh? Got a shot at that myself you know, hey, maybe you got a shot at that belt for your old partner eh?

Mortius: Not re...

Blaze: COIRSE you do, but we'll save that for another time. Man, i just can't believe it, you're looking well, did you see what happened to ol' BA at Hatewave?

Mortius: Yes, but...

Blaze: Yeah, sad sad business, but hey...

The crowd, who have been laughing throughout, now stop as Mortius throws his right hand tightly around Blazes throat

Mortius: Shut...... up!

Blaze struggles but eventually throws Mortius' hands to the side, the smile straight back on his face

Blaze: Just like old times, sorry about that, honestly though, i just wanted to come down here and tell you that, well, I'm proud of you Mort, i really am, congratulations

Mortius looks down on the unusually serious face of Brian Blaze and nods to him

Daniels: That's a really touching scene, the Disasterpiece in the ring again, and Brian Blaze showing Mortius that he wasn't forgotten, in his own unique way, i love moments like these

Masters: It's making me sick to my stomach, wait, what's this...

''Slip Slide Melting'' hits out over the speakers and a very somber looking Eddie Rowan steps out onto the stage

Daniels: Oh, Eddie Rowan out here, but what for? We know these guys became good friends fast during Mortius' short stint with Beautiful Agony, but we also know that he's facing off tonight against former champion Alan Fiscus for the right to go for that title in Mortius' hands right now.

Eddie ignores the fans, instead keeping his eyes straight on Mortius, all the way down the ramp, he walks up the steel step and leaps over the top rope, not once averting his gaze. Mortius holds the stare as both men face off in the middle of the ring, Blaze steps back, looking at both of them, unsure what to do, the crowd are holding their breath as two of their favorites look intently at each other, the height difference ever apparent, but both mens eyes full of electricity, not one flinch

Daniels: We could see it kick off right here, we know that Eddie Rowan wants his hands on what Mortius now has, and he WILL get his shot tonight, what is going through his mind:?

Masters: I don't care, i hope they tear each other's heads off personally

Eddie Finally breaks his gaze from Mortius' eyes and instead looks down at the World Heavyweight Championship in the Shadow of CZWs hands, he looks back up into his old friends still staring eyes. The atmosphere is so thick and the silence resounding around the arena. Finally Eddie makes a move and Daniels: HE'S HOLDING OUT HIS HAND! HE'S OFFERING HIS HAND!

Mortius looks down at the hand and takes it in his. Eddie breaks into a smile and the crowd erupt into the largest cheer of the night as Eddie holds up Mortius' hand with the belt in it, pointing with his other free hand at the champ. He finally lets go and both he and Brian Blaze join in with the crowd clapping and cheering, Mortius affords both his friends a small smile when suddenly fire erupts form the turnbuckles as simultaneously the lights go out. The fire goes out and lights return a few seconds later to find only Blaze and Rowan in the ring, looking around for a second they shrug and then continue once more to clap with the crowd as a chant breaks out

MOR...TI...US MOR...TI...US MOR...TI...US

Daniels: Blaze and Rowan heading back now, as these fans continue to chant the champs name, i must say, it was great sportsmanship seeing Eddie Rowan out here holding up Mortius' hand, if he wins tonight it will set a fantastic president for a great feud for that belt

Masters: Blah blah blah, it's all academic anyway, we know Alan's going to win tonight then get back what's rightfully his

Daniels: Well, we won't have long to wait as the match for that number one contendership is the main event TONIGHT, i can't wait, wither winner Mortius is going to have a tough fight on his hands

*****

-=- CZW GLOBAL TAG TEAM TITLES THREE WAY DANCE! -=-
TNG [Timmons & Mountain Man] vs. YA [Kirkland & Shane] vs. The Spectacle [BB & Kerosene] (c)

*****

Tim Timmons and MtM are unavailable for this match due to travel issues, therefore this contest will be a standard tag-team match.

Kirkland and Shane are out first, accompanied by Shaw and Selena. YA is smug and confident as the crowd jeers them out of the building.

The Spectacle comes out next with their titles proudly displayed. The fans in Sydney show them full support and Kerosene and Blaze look all the more confident for it.

The bell rings and the match starts off simply enough, Shane and Kerosene starting out. Shane takes control after the lock-up, pulling Johnny into a headlock which Johnny reverses into a hammer-lock. Shane with a hip-toss and Kerosene returns the favor upon regaining his feet. The fans in attendance appreciate the fast-paced technical wrestling, but Shane changes all of that with a thumb to the eye!

Kirkland is tagged in and YA executes a series of double-team strikes, isolating Johnny on their side of the ring. Kirkland continues to inflict punishment with a series of holds, attempting to wear the champion down, but Kerosene refuses to forfeit the match. Johnny finally catches a break, ducking a Kirkland superkick and hitting a spinning heel kick of his own. Both men make the tags and Blaze charges in, only for Shane to catch him with a knee to the gut!

Shane proceeds to punish Blaze, punishing him with a series of take-downs, and then choking him over the middle rope. This enables Selena to get a cheap shot in, slapping the helpless Blaze across the face! Shane tags in Kirkland and they attempt to put Blaze away with a double superplex, but Blaze fights it off, first biting Shane on the face and then thumbing Kirkland in the eye and shoving him off, crotching him on the top rope! He then hits Shane with the Celine Dion Driver!! Blaze eventually makes the cover, but Shane makes the kick out at 2!

Blaze tags in Kerosene, but Johnny is surprised by a possom-playing Shane who gets the roll up for a count of two! Johnny takes control again after the kick-out, but as he hits the ropes, Kirkland connects with a stiff kick to the back, staggering him and allowing Shane to hit the Shot in the Dark! Shane covers and gets a count of two before Blaze breaks up the pin, causing Kirkland to enter and all hell to break loose! As all four men battle, Selena gets onto the apron with something concealed in her hand, meanwhile Shaw stalks around to the other side of the ring. Johnny takes Kirkland over the ropes with a lariat, but Selena throws a handful of white powder at him! Before Masters can make a joke about the ‘edge’ girl in possession of ‘white powder,’ Kerosene ducks and the referee catches said powder right in the eyes, blinding him! That’s when Shaw enters, grabbing Kerosene by the throat! On the other side, Shane attempts to take Blaze out with the Moment of Clarity, but BB counters out of it, hitting Shane with a Superkick and knocking him to the outside as well! The then charges and nails Shaw with the Blazing Arrow, freeing Johnny and allowing him to hit the Facemelter! The Spectacle pin Shaw!! The blinded referee can’t tell the difference and makes the count of three!!

The Spectacle are announced the winners of the match despite the protests from Kirkland and Shane who were NOT pinned in the encounter!

Winners: The Spectacle

After the match, Ezra and Jacob Mayhem storm the ring, laying out BOTH teams! Masters and Daniels are left to puzzle over why they’ve done so as we head to a break.

*****

Daniels: “CZW Owner Derek Damage is heading to the ring, and he looks more than a little upset!”

Masters: “Do you think he’ll fire someone else tonight?”

Daniels: “Hard to tell, but he looks like he means business for sure.”

There is no entrance music as Derek Damage makes his way toward the ring. He moves with a purpose, wasting little time going up the steps and stepping between the ropes, retrieving a microphone from the ring attendant. The crowd boos loudly as Damage paces in the ring, regarding the fans with absolute disdain.

Damage: “There are countless clichés that can be used to describe the backstage politics of CZW. ‘Too many chiefs, not enough Indians,’ for one. ‘Too many hands in the cookie jar.’ What all of you people need to get through your heads, is that *I* am the only chief that matters, and this cookie jar belongs to ME!”

The crowd is on their feet, jeering Damage out of the building. His icy composure seems almost ready to fully melt, but he manages to reign in his emotions and calm himself a bit.

Damage: “Now, the first order of business I would like to address is Kimo Newton.”

There is a mixed reaction for Kimo at this point. Some boo him because of his recent antics, and some cheer him just because he seems to piss Derek off.

Damage: “Did you really think your little episode at Hatewave would go unpunished, boy? You’ve cost us ten times what your miserable ass is worth in legal fees with your rioting! I could’ve fired your ass on the SPOT! But no, I did not. I chose instead to show you mercy. What I CAN do is this, however: Kimo Newton is hereby BANNED from any further Intercontinental Championship bouts!”

Daniels: “WHOA! That’s a crippling blow to the career of Kimo Newton right there, barring him from competing for one of the most prestigious belts in CZW!”

Damage: “Yes, Kimo, you may think that is a fair punishment for your actions, but you would be WRONG! Firstly, I have granted a request to one Shawn Waters regarding his want of a little retribution for your actions. Next Overdrive, I am booking Kimo Newton and Rob Wright against the team of Shawn Waters and Krimzon Blaze!”

Daniels: “Wow! Fire and Ice back as a team to take on Kimo and Wright!”

Damage: “There’s still more. I need to know if you really, truly want this job, Kimo. Therefore, the FOLLOWING Overdrive, you WILL compete for your career in a Damage Control match-up. But this one is a little special, Kimo. Lose, and you’re gone. Win, and you thin the roster by not one member, but TWO!”

Masters: “What!? Does he mean…”

Damage: “Yes, Kimo Newton will have a match under the Damage Control initiative, and it will be a HANDICAP match! If I were you, I’d start preparing now. And now, on to the more important matters…Theresa Baines...”

The fans erupt at the mention of their beloved GM’s name, and this seems to only further annoy Derek.

Damage: “Listen here, woman, you may be here on behalf of the shareholders, and you may be untouchable as far as your job goes, but *I* am the one calling the shots here! You think you can just show up and start wheeling and dealing with the superstars? You think you can start trying to mold MY company however you see fit? Perhaps you never noticed, but CZW already HAS a GM. Ladies and gentlemen…JESSE MONTANA!”

“For Whom the Bell Tolls” plays, and out walks ‘the Sensation’ himself. Jesse grins smugly at all of the jeers and moves towards the ring with a noticeable limp.

Daniels: “Jesse Montana is back! From the looks of things, he hasn’t fully recovered from that brutal attack at the hands of Karl Jackson, but he IS up on his own too feet.”

Masters: “Welcome back, Jesse!!”

Montana enters the ring slowly and bows to Derek before posing for the crowd. Damage applauds Jesse and waits for the music to die down before speaking.

Damage: “Well, Jesse, you have been the go-to man since the beginning. You took this company to greatness as the general manager, and you are to be commended for that.”

The fans boo even louder at this point.

Damage: “You and I have been through a lot as well, and you’ve always had my support…until now.”

Jesse stops smirking, shooting a concerned and confused look at Derek.

Damage: “You see, Jesse, I’m taking matters into my own hands and directing the company as I see fit. Baines, I can’t touch. Yet. But you…you still represent a potential threat to my authority, and we can’t have that, now can we?”

Masters: “I don’t believe this!”

Daniels: “Is Derek saying what I think he’s saying!?”

Damage: “Therefore, Jesse Montana, I am…OFFICIALLY removing you from your position of power!!”

Montana is in complete shock, too surprised to even get angry. The crowd issues a mixed reaction at the news, but Damage cuts them off.

Damage: “Yes, that’s right Jesse, as of now, you are officially just another member of the roster, subject to MY whims, and to celebrate that fact, I’m going to book you in a match. A DAMAGE CONTROL match! Against…THE JACKAL!!”

The crowd goes absolutely nuts and Jesse is completely livid, screaming at Derek. Damage just smiles, letting Jesse finish his tirade before continuing.

Damage: “Oh, and Jesse? That match begins….NOW!”

Daniels: “Look! From the crowd!!”

Masters: “It’s the Jackal!!”

Karl Jackson dives into the ring and begins assaulting Jesse before he even knows what’s happening. Jackson pummels Montana to the mat, stomping the bloody hell out of him. With a smile, Damage leaves the ring, heading to the back as referee Darrin Powers runs past him.

The beating continues all over the ring with Jackal mercilessly punishing Jesse, but even in his weakened state Montana proves crafty, surprising Jackal with a jab to the eye and then tossing him shoulder-first into the ring post! Montana uses the reprieve to try and get a second wind, glaring at Jackal and measuring him. As Jackson pulls himself from the corner, Jesse strikes with the MONTANA EXPRESS!! Jackal, however, catches the wounded leg in his hands and instantly drops down, locking in the JACKAL LOCK! Montana doesn’t last long under the excruciating strain and taps out!!

Daniels: “HE TAPS!! MONTANA TAPS!! JESSE MONTANA IS FIRED!!”

Masters: “Jesse…?”

Jackson holds the lock on just a bit longer, standing back up and glaring over Montana, content in the fact that he just ended his career in CZW!

Daniels: “Jesse Montana is the first victim of the Damage Control initiative!! I can’t believe it!!”

The fans cheer loudly as Jesse lays in the ring, humiliated.

Daniels: “Coming up next, we’ll find out just who will be joining him; either Eddie Rowan or Alan Fiscus!”

*****

~~ MAIN EVENT ~~
++++ DAMAGE CONTROL ++++
-=- WINNER IS #1 CONTENDER TO THE WHC... LOSER IS FIRED! -=-
"The Clown, The Killer, The Saint" Eddie Rowan vs. "The Sadistic Solution" Alan Fiscus

*****

Towers: The following match-up is scheduled for one fall and is the first of the Damage Plan series of matches! Introducing first...from Seattle Washington...the Clown...the Killer...the Saint...EDDIE ROWAN!

‘Slip Slide Melting’ by For Love Not Lisa hits. Eddie Rowan walks out onto the stage.

Daniels: It’s time William!

Masters: Yes! It’s time for Alan Fiscus to finally get rid of that straight edge nutter!

Daniels: No way...Eddie will definitely win this!

Masters: Well...whoever loses will have had the worst two weeks of their life...

Daniels: You are right about that...both men had terrible nights at Hatewave...Eddie Rowan losing both the Money in the Bank match and his stable...

Masters: And in the travesty of the year, Alan Fiscus’ title was stolen from him! Not to mention the other piece of gold in the Fiscus family was unfairly taken.

Daniels: Ha! It’s about time someone knocked those Fiscuses off of their high horse!

Masters: Oh shut up Jarred...

Eddie Rowan enters the ring and takes a deep breath. He looks around for what could potentially be the last time! ‘Streetcleaner’ by Godflesh hits.

Towers: And his opponent...from Wichita, Kansas...accompanied by Hellena...the former World Champion...The Sadistic Solution...ALAN FISCUS!!!

Alan Fiscus walks out onto the stage, a pissed off look all over his face. Hellena follows behind, yelling at fans who bad mouth Alan. A fan with a ‘Fiscus Sucks’ sign yells at him from the front row. Fiscus flips the fan off and walks towards the ring.

Daniels: No respect for anybody!

Masters: Tell me about it...how can that fan not respect Alan Fiscus!

Daniels: *sigh* Well...this match is sure to be huge...both men are fighting for their jobs tonight!

Masters: Alan Fiscus will win...he never says die! His loss at Hatewave...just a fluke!

Daniels: Whatever...Mortius totally deserved that victory!

Masters: What’s next? Shawn Waters deserved the Money in the Bank? You should so stand-up Jarred!

Daniels: Oh shut up, William...and leave Waters alone...he’s been through enough tonight!

Masters: Yeah! Sam Attic beat him...this’ll be the night of redemption for the Fiscuses! Sam took one step closer to getting back his X title...and Alan will send Eddie Rowan out of CZW!!

Daniels: Let’s see how wrong you are...the match is ready to start.

The bell rings as Eddie and Alan stare at each other from across the ring. Eddie sticks his hand out for Alan to shake. Alan smirks and spits on his hand. Eddie just smiles...and slaps Alan across the face! Alan staggers back. He glares at Eddie angrily and charges. Eddie ducks his clothesline and lands five quick gut punches in succession! Rowan finishes with a dropkick, sending Alan to the outside!

Daniels: What a start for Eddie!

Masters: He’s a woman! Who slaps these days!

Alan and Hellena begin talking on the outside. Eddie grins and runs. He launches over the top rope...but Alan and Hellena had predicted his moves and move out of the way, leaving Eddie to crash hard into the barricade!

Masters: Hell yes!

Daniels: Fiscus has studied Rowan’s tactics here!

Alan grabs Eddie and rolls him into the ring. He covers...

1

2

Kickout!

Alan lifts Eddie to his feet and whips him into the corner. He runs at Eddie and crushes him with a clothesline. He then gets in position for the Riot-Act! Alan lifts Eddie up, but Eddie is able to slide out the back! Eddie then lines Alan up and aims an Enzuiguri at Alan’s head, but Alan scouts it and ducks. He then goes for a back suplex, but Eddie flips out of the move. Eddie lands on his feet and aims a sweep kick at Alan’s feet, but Alan jumps over his foot. Alan aims a punch at Rowan, but Eddie rolls under his arm and stands up. The two men stare at each other...

Daniels: Holy crap...both of these men know each other too well!

Masters: Bah...Eddie is just lucky... Alan will be pissed now!

The two men circle the ring, inching closer and closer to the centre. Eddie is the first to make a move, locking Alan’s right arm under his left. Alan repeats the process with Eddie’s right arm, creating yet another stalemate. Alan smirks and lashes out with his head, catching Eddie across the eyebrow with the headbutt...

Masters: Blood!

Daniels: He’s busted open already? Must be recurring from the Money in the Bank match.

Eddie reels back from the headbutt, but finds his arm still trapped. Alan quickly twists his arm, putting pressure on Eddie’s joints. Eddie swings his foot up and nails Alan in the gut. Alan releases the hold and cops a dropkick! Eddie follows up by bounding off the ropes and nailing the rising Alan with a Shining Wizard. Eddie covers!

1

2

Kickout!

Eddie continues the attack with a few stomps, before backing off, allowing Alan to get to his feet. Eddie then lands a kick to the back of Alan’s leg, following up with a headlock takedown. Eddie keeps the headlock locked in as Alan reaches out for the ropes. He gets his foot on the bottom rope, forcing Eddie to release the hold. Eddie lifts Alan to his feet and whips him towards the ropes. As Alan comes back, Eddie brings him down with an arm drag. He then grabs Alan by the head and drops him with a DDT. Eddie goes for the cover.

1

2

Kickout!

Daniels: Eddie is in control right now...

Masters: Alan is just giving him a false sense of security...watch him lash out any second now!

Eddie drops an elbow on Alan before going to the top rope. Alan slowly rises to his feet...as Eddie flies of and nails a crossbody...Alan rolls through into a cover though!

1

Kickout!

Alan and Eddie both make it to their feet at the same time. Alan is able to move first however as Hellena has grabbed a hold of Eddie’s foot. Alan sends Eddie over the top rope with a clothesline as Hellena walks to the other side of the ring, smiling. Alan leaves the ring and grabs Eddie Rowan as he rises. He drags him over to the barricade and slams his face first into it. A disabled fan in the front row shouts obscenities towards Alan, but Alan just flips him off and steals his crutch. Alan smiles sinisterly and brings the crutch down across Eddie’s back. Eddie writhes in pain as Alan hands the bent crutch back to the cripple...

Daniels: That’s sick...the guy can’t even walk and Alan steals his crutch!

Masters: Jarred...he is fighting for his job! He’ll do whatever is necessary to remain in CZW!

Daniels: Oh boo hoo...you don’t see Eddie doing things like that...

Masters: Yeah...but you don’t see Eddie Rowan beating down Alan Fiscus either...

Alan continues his relentless attack with stomps and kicks. He then tears the protective mat off the ground, exposing the concrete. Alan picks Rowan up and places his head against the concrete, before looking under the ring for a chair. He pulls one out and lines Eddie up for a modified con-chair-to. He swings the chair down...and Eddie moves out of the way just in time. The chair slams into the concrete, the noise ringing around the arena. Alan swings the chair again, but Eddie again moves, this time the chair slamming against the barricade. Eddie grabs the back of Alan’s head and leaps into the crowd, driving Alan’s face into the steel chair on the barricade! Alan goes down and Eddie smiles. He talks to the fans near him, two of them being members of the local Sydney rugby team. They lift Eddie up, so he is standing on their shoulders. He then leaps off, connecting with a senton onto Fiscus! He stands up as the fans cheer! Eddie picks Alan up and rolls him into the ring, before following him in there. Eddie covers...

1

2

Kickout!

Eddie shrugs and picks Alan up. He whips him into the corner, then charges. Alan moves out of the way though, leaving Eddie to slam into the corner. Alan grabs Eddie from behind and sends him flying with a release german suplex! Alan the grabs Eddie’s left leg and turns him over, locking a Single Leg Boston Crab in! Eddie writhes in pain, desperately trying to reach the ropes. He lunges at the ropes...but Hellena has pulled them just out of his reach. After Eddie puts his arm down, she places them in his reach again...before yanking the ropes away as he makes another lunge! She repeats the process again...but this time Eddie grabs her hair, instead of the ropes! Hellena screams, prompting Alan to release the hold and turn around. Eddie rolls outside the ring to regroup, as Alan and Hellena converse. Alan follows Eddie to the outside and goes to dish out some punishment for touching his woman...but Eddie chops him across the chest! He chops again...and again...only for Alan to level him with a stiff right hand!

Masters: Yes! Alan is dominating now!

Daniels: With no help from Hellena, of course...

Masters: What? It’s not her fault she had to grab the rope...she was about to fall over!

Daniels: Oh my god...you seriously have an excuse for everything, don’t you?

Masters: Your mother has an excuse for everything...

Daniels: *facepalm*

Alan whips Eddie into the barricade. A large figure stands up in the front row and locks Eddie in a full nelson! Alan grins as he walks over to the helpless Eddie. He drives his fist into the ribs of Eddie, signalling for Garrett William to release him. Alan then drags Rowan back into the ring. Alan lines Eddie up and drives his boot into the already bleeding head of Eddie, widening the gash on his forehead!

Daniels: Oh god...someone come and clean Eddie up already!

Masters: What’s wrong Jarred, don’t like a bit of blood? This is CZW...we don’t clean people up here!

Daniels: It won’t be long before Eddie won’t be able to see!

Masters: Well...he should have taken more care!

Alan grabs Eddie and begins punching away at the wound, his fists becoming quite bloody in the process. He then raises his fist in the hair, an evil smile on his face. He leans in the corner and watches as Eddie’s blood begins to pool on the mat. He then lifts Eddie to his feet and goes for the Overthrow...BUT ROWAN UNLEASHES WITH LEFTS AND RIGHTS!!! Alan takes a swing, but Eddie ducks. He dropkicks Alan in the back, causing him to land on the second rope. Eddie smirks and runs! He uses Alan’s back as a platform and springs over the top rope. He brings his leg down and connects with a leg drop to the back of Alan’s neck! Hellena runs over and attempts to slap Eddie, but Eddie grabs her wrists. He smiles and lays a kiss on her! Hellena pulls away screaming, blood stained on her mouth. She runs to the back as Eddie motions for her to ‘call him’.

Masters: What the hell...now THAT’S sick!

Daniels: At least he got rid of Hellena and evened the playing field...

Masters: What? That’s not ‘evening the playing field’...that’s just perversion!

Daniels: How’s it any different to you?

Masters: Women actually want me...that’s how it’s different...

Daniels: ...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHOHMYGODHAHAHAHAHAHASERIOUSLYHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHOW PATHETICHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Masters: Shut up Daniels...just coz you are married!

Daniels: Ha...jealous?

Masters: Not really...I’ve seen your wife...she’s a dog...your daughter on the other hand...

Daniels: Unfortunately for you...she’s taken...

Masters: Wait...you actually let someone date your daughter?

Daniels: Yeah...Shawn asked me ever so nicely...

Masters: SHAWN?? AS IN WATERS? YOU LET THAT AUSSIE DATE YOUR DAUGHTER? WHAT...I DON’T...HOW DARE...WHEN...HUH?

Daniels: Hey Bill...I never knew you were a fish...

Masters: What?

Daniels: Because you just got hooked in!

Masters: ...I hate you Jarred...I hate you ever so much...

Eddie Rowan climbs back in the ring as Alan climbs to his feet. He scans around for Hellena, before looking up at the Combatron and watching a replay of the event. Fuming, he stands up and charges at Eddie. Eddie takes Alan down with a drop toe hold and begins wrenching the knee of the former champion. Alan quickly reaches the ropes and Eddie lets go. He doesn’t slow down his attack though and begins stomping away at his knee. Alan lashes out with his good leg and catches Rowan in the knee, giving Fiscus ample time to scurry out of the ring. Alan starts to regroup as Eddie slides outside the ring aswell. Fiscus backs away from Eddie. Eddie charges, but Alan had a plan all along and dropkicks the steel steps into Eddie’s knee! Eddie crashes into the steps and flips over!

Daniels: Ouch...

Masters: Yes! Fiscus is the master at using the environment to his advantage!

Alan props Eddie up against the barricade. He takes a few steps back, before running at Eddie and slamming his knee into him! Alan then begins searching under the ring. He pulls out a lead pipe and smiles. He lines Eddie up and swings, but Eddie is, once again, able to save himself by moving. The pipe clangs against the barricade. He turns around to attack again, but is met with a chair shot! Blood starts pouring from Alan’s head.

Masters: Alan’s been busted open aswell!

Daniels: You don’t sound that upset about it...

Masters: Blood is blood...and besides...Alan will win...what is a little blood going to do?

Eddie drags Alan to his feet by his hair and chops him across the chest, sending Alan back to the floor. Eddie smiles and rolls Alan into the ring. He climbs to the top rope and waits for Alan to stand. Eddie flies off...and connects with the hurricanrana from the top! Alan staggers back to his feet, only to be on the receiving end of a flying leg lariat! He gets back up and is hit with another leg lariat. Alan then rolls out of the ring, but Eddie has the momentum going and leaps over the top rope, twisting through the air. He collides with Alan, sending him crashing into the barricade! Eddie stands up as the crowd cheer. Eddie glances over at one fan who is offering him an Australian T-Shirt and one of the little stuffed Koala’s the fans have brought to the show. Eddie smiles and puts the T-Shirt on. He then stands on the ring apron and throws the Koala at Alan. The fans follow suit as Alan is pelted with the stuffed toys. Soon, a mass pile of them is seen outside the ring. Alan stands up and looks at the stuffed toys at his feet. Eddie jumps off the apron and nails Alan with a leg lariat, sending him over the barricade, into the crowd! Eddie lands softly on the toys and nods at the fans. He clears the floor before he picks Alan up and stretches him over the barricade. Eddie then locks his arms around Alan’s right hand and his legs around Alan’s left hand!

Daniels: Eddie with a crucifix hold!

Masters: This does not look good for Alan...

Eddie holds on as his weight begins to drag Alan over the barricade, his back being bent by the barricade. Eventually, Alan’s feet follow his body and both Eddie and Alan tumble over the barricade! Alan lands head first on the mat!

Daniels: Very innovative by Rowan here...now are still confident about Fiscus winning?

Masters: He’ll come back...trust me!

Eddie rolls Alan into the ring and covers...

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3...KICKOUT!

Daniels: And there’s our first close call of the match!

Eddie climbs to the top yet again and prepares for the St Edward’s Fall! He leaps...

Daniels: He’s going to hit it...he’s going to hit it...he’s going to...oh!

Alan moves at the last second, causing Eddie to land ass-first on the mat! Alan stands up gingerly and delivers a sharp kick to Rowan’s back! Another kick...and another! Fiscus starts unleashing his anger on Rowan! He then picks Eddie up and tosses him to the outside! Alan removes the turnbuckle padding of one corner and leaves the ring to retrieve Eddie. He finds Eddie on all fours and delivers a heavy kick to the gut. He rolls Eddie back in the ring and places him in the opposite corner of the exposed turnbuckle. He whips Eddie with authority! Eddie slams hard into the turnbuckle! Alan follows up by grabbing Eddie’s head and slamming it against the turnbuckle!

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10!

He lets Eddie fall back, his skin now coated in red. Alan covers!

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3...KICKOUT!!!

Daniels: What?

Masters: How the fuck did he kick out of that?

Daniels: He really wants to keep his job!

Alan slams the mat in frustration. He lifts Eddie up and connects with the Overdose! He covers...

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3...KICKOUT!!!

Daniels: No way...how is he doing this?

Masters: Put him away already Alan!

Alan, now visibly frustrated, lifts Eddie up and nails the Riot-Plex...he then follows up with the Corkscrew Stunner!

Masters: That has got to be it!

Alan covers...

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3...KICKOUT!!!!!!!!!

Daniels: NO WAY!

Masters: WHAT!? WHO GAVE ROWAN STEROIDS?

Daniels: That’s not steroids, William...that’s sheer will and determination!

Alan, now fuming, starts screaming at the referee!

Fiscus: What do you think you are doing? That was a definite three count! Do your fucking job!

Alan covers again...

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KICKOUT!!!

Alan pounds his fists against the mat, a murderous look in his eye. He lifts Eddie up and gets him in position for the Overthrow. He grins...but EDDIE BLOCKS THE MOVE! Alan tries again, but Eddie keeps one foot wrapped around Alan’s leg! Eddie then changes the position of his arm, locking in a headlock. He then wraps the other leg around Alan and starts jerking the neck of Alan.

Daniels: Another innovative move here by Eddie!

Alan drops to his knees under the pressure of the move, Eddie keeping the hold locked in tight. Alan drops completely, seemingly knocked out. The ref begins checking his arm...he raises it...and lets it fall...

1!

The ref repeats the process...the arm falls again!

2!

The ref tries for the third and final time...but Alan is able to keep his arm up! Eddie increases the pressure on the hold, but Alan is able to get himself to his feet! He runs at the turnbuckle and sandwiches Eddie, loosening his grip. Alan then throws Eddie over his shoulder! Eddie lands on his feet however, and strikes with the EVD! Eddie however, is unable to cover and both men lay on the mat, exhausted. The ref begins to count...

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Eddie begins to stir...

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Eddie covers Alan!

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3...KICKOUT!

Daniels: Neither man willing to quit here!

Eddie lies on his back, causing the ref to count again...

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Both men start to get up...

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Alan is up!

Eddie is up!

Both men stare at each other, both looking very hurt and tired. Both try to regain composure, using the ropes to stand. Alan then smiles. He glances over at Garrett William sitting in the front row and nods. Garrett jumps over the barricade, causing the fans in attendance to boo. Alan then glances at another part of the crowd and nods, which brings out Sam Attic! Eddie glances at the two Fiscus family members heading towards the ring. He shakes his head and prepares for a fight. Sam and Garrett enter the ring and with Alan’s help, surround Eddie. Eddie shrugs and nails Alan with a corkscrew dropkick. Sam quickly beats down Eddie and nails the Dramarama! Garrett William then laughs and grabs Eddie by the throat and lifts him up. He drives Eddie back into the mat with a Chokeslam, before picking him back up and preparing for the Straight Jacket DDT...

Masters: This is great...look how well this family work together!

Daniels: Someone needs to stop this...Eddie is going to be cheated out of CZW!

Suddenly, ‘Nightmare’ by Avenged Sevenfold hits! Mike Monroe, Brian Blaze and Johnny Kerosene rush to the ring! Garrett drops shoves Eddie aside and awaits the reinforcements! Monroe starts brawling with Sam, while The Spectacle deal with the giant Garrett William! Mike Monroe is able to nail Sam with the Blood from a Stone! Sam rolls out of the ring, with Monroe in pursuit. Blaze and Kerosene have been able to avoid Garrett attacks and through teamwork have gotten Garrett backed into a corner. Johnny Kerosene climbs onto the second ropes, while Blaze yells out ‘WHO’S THE BOSS!?’ Blaze then proceeds to hit the Tony Danza, staggering Garrett. Kerosene jumps onto Garrett’s back, locking in the full nelson. Blaze then dropkicks Garrett’s knee, aiding Kerosene in finishing the Facemelter! Blaze and Kerosene high five in the ring, before bouncing off the ropes and nailing Garrett with a sliding dropkick, sending him under the bottom rope out to the floor!

Daniels: Beautiful Agony may have been disbanded...but they sure as hell are still friends!

Masters: Those clowns shouldn’t even be allowed to be seen on TV together! Beautiful Agony is dead! Jacob Havok killed it!

Daniels: I don’t think they care, William...looks like they want to make sure this is as fair as possible...if Eddie is forced to leave...he is forced to leave cleanly!

Masters: Bah! It’s all pointless anyway...this just means Eddie’s departure will be much longer and more painful...

Alan Fiscus finally crawls back into the ring. He looks around for his family, and finds both Garrett and Sam being forced to the back, the three ex-BA members brandishing chairs! Alan shakes his head and turns around. He spies Eddie Rowan still out cold from the Fiscus beatdown. Alan smirks and goes for the cover...

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3...KICKOUT!!!!

Daniels: It continues!

Alan shakes his head in disbelief! He lifts Eddie up and whips him into the corner. He charges at Eddie...who moves! Alan crashes face-first into the exposed turnbuckle, opening his cut wider! Eddie rolls Alan up!

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Kickout!

Both Alan and Eddie are left standing in the ring, eyeing each other off. They begin circling the ring. They lock up, but are too tired to take advantage. They release and take a step back. Alan takes a swing at Eddie, and Eddie returns the punch...back and forth...back and forth...back and forth...Eddie ducks! 1...2...3...4...Eddie nails Alan with four straight punches. Alan, out of desperation, drops to his knees and connects with a low-blow!

Daniels: Cheap shot!

Masters: Alan was just working with what he was given...

Daniels: There are much better ways to take advantage than that!

Alan grabs Eddie...and finally nails the Overthrow! He collapses to the mat and slowly starts to crawl towards the unconscious body of Eddie Rowan...when suddenly...

Daniels: Is that...Sam Attic?

Masters: Yeah, it is...and Mike Monroe is the one sending him down to ringside.

Monroe nails Sam with a right hand, both men now at ringside. Alan watches as Mike goes to hit another finisher on Sam...but Sam reverses and nails the Terror Ride! The referee goes outside to break the two men up...

Daniels: Who is that?

Masters: It’s Big Nasty...what’s he doing in the ring?

Daniels: He’s looking at both competitors.

Alan Fiscus notices Big Nasty. Nasty seems to be considering between the two. Alan stands up as Nasty lifts Eddie Rowan to his feet. He gets Rowan in position for the Nasty Bomb, causing Alan to smile...Nasty catches Alan off guard, taking him out with a vicious clothesline! He then grabs Alan and drives him into the mat with a Nasty Bomb! Nasty then leaves ringside through the crowd! Security run down to ringside and drag Monroe and Attic away, while three other prevent Garrett William from chasing Big Nasty!

Masters: What does that oaf Nasty think he is doing!?

Daniels: It’s no secret that Nasty and Alan don’t get along...maybe this was Nasty’s way of ending this feud once and for all!

Masters: This is fair, dammit!

Eddie Rowan drags himself to his feet. He looks around, confused as to how Alan Fiscus ended up out cold in the middle of the ring...he shrugs and climbs to the top rope...

Daniels: He going to finish it!

Eddie flies off...ST. EDWARDS FALL!

Daniels: He connects! It’s over!

Eddie covers...

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The referee signals for the bell!

Daniels: HE DID IT! ALAN FISCUS IS OUT OF CZW!!!!!!

Masters: NOOOOO! THAT WASN’T FAIR!

Daniels: It’s about time Alan Fiscus got what he deserved!!! Justice is finally served in CZW...and it comes in the form of Big Nasty!

Masters: How can Eddie Rowan be happy about the victory!

Daniels: The man gets to keep his job! He gets a world title shot...anyone would be happy! Plus...he had no idea that Nasty even showed up! Just accept it...Alan lost...Eddie Rowan is the winner!

Eddie Rowan struggles to his feet as the referee raises his arm. Blood coats his entire face and most of his upper torso, but he still looks like a winner. He looks over at Alan who is coming to, a look of exhausted disbelief on his face. Alan slowly stands, he and Eddie staring face to face at one another for a long time, a loud CZW chant is being offset by a ‘Na-na-na-na, hey hey hey, good bye’ chant. No words are exchanged, and finally, Alan takes a long look around at the arena. Almost as if in a trance, he turns and exits the ring, slowly walking back up the ramp with Hellena.

Daniels: “Fiscus is gone! Eddie actually doesn’t look too terribly happy about things, though.”

Masters: “I…still can’t believe this is happening…”

A bloody Eddie Rowan commences a somber celebration, the feed drawing to a close.